When I shared the list of time management and productivity blogs that I review daily with a co-worker, he made a joking remark about how it was much more fun to read about than to do it! There’s a lot of truth to that…if instead of reading about it I just got up out of my chair and did it, how organized would I be?!
Being who we are and loving
A convergance of several experiences have led me to reflect again about the difficulties of love and relationships. Dr Robin L Smith spoke about her new book “Lies at the Altar” on Oprah, describing how women often lose themselves in marriage. Then I watched the movie “Shopgirl” and was profoundly affected by it. Combine that with a scene from the movie “Casanova” where Francesca says: “Oh give me a man who is man enough to give himself just to the woman who is worth him. If that woman were me I would love him alone and forever.” And you have a recipe for some deep thoughts.
Mirabelle is the shopgirl who first hooks up with the clueless and quirky Jeremy, then is courted by a much older and richer man. Despite the warnings of Ray Porter (played by Steve Martin) that she is not to expect commitment, she falls in love with him. While gracious and generous with money, which is easy for him, he is not able to give of his heart. Eventually she realizes that he will never be capable of loving her. Meanwhile Jeremy has been working on self-improvement and has made changes that make him a better companion. His warm and appealing character shines through now that he is no longer so clueless about relationships.
The moment that affected me so deeply comes at the end of the movie when Ray runs into Mirabelle. “I did love you,” he tells her, when he so clearly didn’t. He probably believed that he did, even as he was not capable of it. He was as clueless about love as Jeremy previously was about relationships. We do not know why Ray is this way, but we do know he is not likely to change. To respond to being hurt by shutting ourselves off from sharing love is to ultimately hurt ourselves, depriving ourselves of the human experience.
Posted in love & relationships, personal development
The most beautiful spot in the garden
Much of my time has been spent doing yardwork lately. It’s a good to way to connect with nature and recharge emotionally, although it can be demanding physically! I once read that to be a good gardener, you have to hate the weeds as much as you love the flowers. It’s so important to remove the weeds for the remaining plants to have the room to grow.
Posted in personal development
Organizing Photos
I've never been that great a photographer, which is why a digital camera is so appealing to me. If I take a terrible photo, I'm not wasting film! A simple press of the button and it's gone. It's wonderful to be able to save photos digitally. However, even though I don't take great quantities of pictures, it is still a challenge to keep them organized.
Since different cameras and computers come with different programs for handling photos, everyone has to figure this out on an individual basis. But one thing I've learned could be universally helpful, and that is to immediately take the time to name each photo when you have downloaded them. Otherwise, the random numbers that are generated are no help in locating the one you are looking for at a later time. They can quickly become overwhelming.
It's a good idea to set up logical folders for each vacation or holiday, family and friends, etc. and take the time to back up files or archive them by burning a CD. Time spent in learning about digital photography is an investment that will pay off.
Posted in information management, productivity
Learning Effectiveness
There are opportunities for learning all around us, but recently I’ve attended many wonderful programs at library conferences. They’ve really got me thinking, but they say the best way to learn something is by teaching it, and there is certainly truth in that too.
One of the programs was “How to Be Effective in Your Organization” by Nancy Bolt. A version of the program is available on her website at http://www.nancyboltassociates.com/workshops/organizational_effectiveness.htm
The presenter included a few quick exercises. One was to think of a project we had been nervous about that turned out successfully, and what we learned from that. Another was to think about our skills five years ago, and what we have learned since then. Re-evaluate an idea you have considered in the past and didn’t try. Why didn’t you and would it work now?
She asked questions to involve the audience, like “why don’t people take risks?” She asked the group to offer examples of stories. She talked about behavior that is not effective, like avoiding issues, whining and complaining.
To be effective in your organization, know what you think and say what you mean. Be willing to ask for what you want while describing the benefits to others. Ask questions to increase your understanding and encourage discussion. Meet the boss regularly with a bulleted list of ideas, questions and concerns, problems and possible solutions.
Observe, check what you think you see, and provide positive feedback. Get the most out of meetings you attend by contributing and showing interest. If you volunteer to take notes you can include the points you want to make. If you don’t want anything to get done, neglect to ask “who will do what by when?” Do what you are best at, and be the change you want to see.
I’ve learned that an effective teacher asks the questions that will lead to a synergy of sharing and discussion. More learning takes place when we come up with answers ourselves than it does if someone simply hands us information. And it’s more fun too!
Here are some ideas from the time management program at the library on Monday: Use different colored markers to highlight priorities on calendars. Set up folders and filters to sort email. Cook ahead for the week. Put on upbeat music. Use checklists for repeating tasks. Keep paper and pen handy to take notes. Learn to relax and have fun.
Many of us struggle with setting priorities to handle too many to-dos. Life now offers an overflowing smorgasbord of choices from television channels to varieties of pop that can be overwhelming at times.
Learning
What I’ve learned this week:
I learned about a neat website called crosswalk.com. It’s neat for a lot of reasons, but especially for the Bible search tool.
I’ve been trying to decide what I want to learn more about. Do I want to learn a new language? Or learn how to play the piano? There are free lessons at PianoNanny.com! Life’s all about learning, isn’t it?! Learn what you’re learning style is, and begin a learning journal.
I’ve been reading a book called “Bird by Bird” by Anne Lamott. The author shares her advice about writing, something I’m definitely interested in learning more about! Becoming a writer, she says, is about becoming conscious. Writing and reading deepen and widen and expand our sense of life: they feed the soul. Oh, yeah, that’s what I want! At times it’s easier for me to figure out what I don’t want than what I do want. It feels great the other way around. 🙂
Posted in personal development
two ways to die, two ways to live
I watched the movie “Assault on Precinct 13” last night. When things get dicey, criminal kingpin Bishop tells Sergeant Jake Roenick that he’s seen many people die, and there are two ways to do it: with self-pity or without it.
I guess there’s two ways to live too.
It reminds me of the quote from “The Shawshank Redempetion”-get busy living, or get busy dying.
Posted in personal development
A Psalm of Life by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
TELL me not, in mournful numbers,
Life is but an empty dream ! —
For the soul is dead that slumbers,
And things are not what they seem.
Life is real ! Life is earnest!
And the grave is not its goal ;
Dust thou art, to dust returnest,
Was not spoken of the soul.
Not enjoyment, and not sorrow,
Is our destined end or way ;
But to act, that each to-morrow
Find us farther than to-day.
Art is long, and Time is fleeting,
And our hearts, though stout and brave,
Still, like muffled drums, are beating
Funeral marches to the grave.
In the world’s broad field of battle,
In the bivouac of Life,
Be not like dumb, driven cattle !
Be a hero in the strife !
Trust no Future, howe’er pleasant !
Let the dead Past bury its dead !
Act,— act in the living Present !
Heart within, and God o’erhead !
Lives of great men all remind us
We can make our lives sublime,
And, departing, leave behind us
Footprints on the sands of time ;
Footprints, that perhaps another,
Sailing o’er life’s solemn main,
A forlorn and shipwrecked brother,
Seeing, shall take heart again.
Let us, then, be up and doing,
With a heart for any fate ;
Still achieving, still pursuing,
Learn to labor and to wait.
Posted in personal development
A solid foundation
I dreamed last night about discovering a huge uneven gap in the foundation of the house where I was in the dream. It was a two foot gap or better between the broken edges of the basement wall, because, after all, it was a dream and therefore quite unreal. But I think I know where it was coming from, as in real life I dealt with a traumatic basement project in the summer of 2004. I guess I’m still recovering from the effects. It was costly in both financial and emotional terms. But it had to be done. The cement blocks had been installed incorrectly, lacking the necessary rebar and concrete to fill them with the strength to withstand the pressure from the earth. Cracks were worsening, and the effects of a bad foundation were visible in the twisted walls of the house above. I thought I had discovered a fool-proof way to solve the ant problem by having a backhoe come dig huge trenches around the house. Unfortunately, that part is not true. 🙂
It’s something to consider though. How important it is to have a good foundation. Without a solid foundation in life, how can you withstand the pressures? First build a strong foundation of values and knowledge which provides a solid base for everything else.
Posted in personal development
Talents
Booknotes on “First, Break all the Rules” by Marcus Buckingham and Curt Coffman.
The Gallup Organization conducted two in-depth studies. First they asked: what do the most talented employees need from the workplace? They developed 12 questions that measure the strength of a workplace. And they found the answer was great managers. This answer led them to ask “how do the world’s greatest managers find, focus, and keep talented employees?” The managers they interviewed came from a wide range of situations and had varying styles. But Gallup identified what they have in common, and discovered that they first break the rules of conventional wisdom.
Great managers understand the difference between skills and knowledge, which can be learned, and the importance of talents, which cannot. Talents are recurring patterns of thought, feeling, or behavior that can be productively applied. We each have a unique filter, a characteristic way of responding to the world. These mental pathways are formed as we develop to our mid-teens, and thereafter there are limits to what can be changed.
Some pathways that are not developed can be improved, but only to a certain extent.
The myth is that with enough determination we can overcome all liabilities and transform weaknesses into strengths. The reality is that attempts to change nontalents into talents can be a frustrating waste of time and effort that would be better spent in discovering and using the talents we do have and developing skills and knowledge. When we understand that some things can be learned and changed more effectively than others, we are freed to focus on those things. Talents fall into three basic categories: striving, thinking, and relating. An appendix in the book goes into more detail within these categories.
The vital talents for a great manager are these: they must be excellent at selecting for talent, setting expectations, motivating for performance, and developing the person. Great managers are catalysts that speed up the reaction between talents and the needs of the customer or company.
Great managers identify the talents that are essential for each job by looking at what the best employees do. They must define the right performance outcomes or results. This can be complicated as some outcomes are quite difficult to define and measure. To find the right outcomes, discover what is right for the customer-what is really important to them? Learn what is right for the company-what is the best strategy to meet the mission? And what is right for the individual-what are their talents and what will motivate them most effectively?
Great managers observe the actions and interactions of the employee to learn what makes them tick, they ask employees what they need and provide it. If non-performance happens, they check first for mechanical causes and personal causes. Perhaps better tools or information are needed, or there may have been a death in the family. Next they check to see if further training will provide missing skills or knowledge, or if a different kind of motivation or “trigger” is needed.
If all these efforts fail, the person has probably been miscast in a role that doesn’t fit their talents. Managers can devise a support system, find a complementary partner, or find an alternative role. Managers must decide what level of performance is unacceptable, and how long is too long at that level? At what point have they done enough to help? When an employee is struggling, the most caring thing to do is to help them find a role that is a better fit.
Great managers have a regular performance management routine. A regular review of actions taken, discoveries made, and partnerships built will help to identify strengths and weaknesses. Self-discovery is the driving, guiding energy force for a healthy career. The point of self-discovery is not to fix your nontalents, but to capitalize on who you are.
The book “Now, Discover Your Strengths” by Marcus Buckingham and Donald O Clifton presents results of a study by the Gallup Organization. You can identify talents within 34 themes.
Kent Blumberg has a great post about this book at his site.
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