Confidence is a belief in the ability to face challenges successfully and act on convictions. Confidence is desirable for pursuing purpose and interacting with others productively. Build self-confidence with the following steps.

Strength train. Any kind of exercise provides benefits, but it can be especially empowering to lift weights because it requires a level of determination and self-discipline. It is also powerful to identify and use your strengths, and develop more skills.

See capabilities clearly. An accurate view of our abilities can be achieved by: challenging our assumptions, considering assessments, asking others, and noticing our interests, experiences, and patterns. Discover U

Set small challenges. To build competence, set goals and take small steps. Start with microhabits for personal development and try tiny experiments.

Shift mindset. A growth mindset inspires self-confidence. Use positive affirmations and self-talk. Develop self-esteem and soar with learning and preparation.

Seek solutions. Take purposeful action with courage and a sense of agency.

Sustain motivation. Know your values and priorities, and have a vision with VIP AIMS that are active, inspiring, and meaningful solutions.

Seek support. Set up systems that support your goals, and connect with people who care and provide consistent feedback, advice, realistic outlook, and encouragement.

Stand and sit tall. Good posture conveys confidence.

Speak up. Practice confident communication skills.

Start.

TED talks and books

Books purchased with Amazon affiliate links below provide a small commission that helps support the Daily PlanIt. See more TED talks by authors at TED Talk Book Discussion.

• Emily Jaenson Let’s Go, TED talk 6 tips for building your confidence
• Adam Galinskey Inspire, TED talk How to speak up for yourself
• Jen Sincero You Are a Badass, TED talk Freefalling into uncertainty
• Jen Gottlieb Be Seen, TED talk How to overcome self-sabotage
• Ivan Joseph You Got This, TED talk The skill of self-confidence
• Dre Baldwin The Super You, TED talk How to be confident when you’re not (plus more)
• Alyssa Dver Confidence is a Choice, TED talk Confidence is a choice
• Brittney Packnett Cunningham TED talk How to build your confidence and spark it in others

More resources

• How to build confidence at helpguide
• How to be more confident at verywellmind
• Confidently at riseaboveco.org

Arthur Brooks has studied and shared information about happiness for quite awhile. He describes what he calls the Happiness equation: happiness = meaning + enjoyment + satisfaction. His book “The Happiness Files,” is a curated collection from his “How to Build a Life” column in The Atlantic, TED talk on The art and science of happiness. [Amazon affiliate links provide a small commission that helps to support the Daily PlanIt]

• Meaning (Coherence + Purpose + Significance): This involves understanding why things happen, having a sense of direction, and believing your life has significance.

• Enjoyment (Pleasure + People + Memory): Enjoyment comes from engaging in activities that are actively chosen and savored. It increases when shared with others.

• Satisfaction (The Joy of Struggle): This is the fulfillment derived from working hard to achieve a goal. Satisfaction comes from effort and the joy of accomplishment after struggle.

Meaning is the main focus of his new book, “The Meaning of Your Life.” He outlines three elements from the work of Michael Steger, author of Purpose and Meaning in the Workplace, TED talk: What makes life meaningful.

↳ Coherence means feeling that your life makes sense. Learn more about gaining coherence at MAPS to a meaningful life.

↳ Purpose involves having goals and a guiding direction.

↳ Significance is about the value of your life to yourself and others, not just accomplishments, but the positive impact you have. [Youtube short]

Enjoyment is about shared and savored experiences. [Youtube short] To increase enjoyment, the next element of the happiness equation:

↳ Savor: appreciation with awareness. [How to enjoy your life Office Hours]

↳ Active: fully engage in experiences to feel flow. [How to be good at leisure Office Hours]

↳ Social: increase enjoyment by interacting with others.

A key distinction to understand is the difference between enjoyment and pleasure. [Arthur Brooks on the difference between enjoyment and pleasure] True enjoyment is SPECIAL:

• Social (birthday party, game night)
• Produces serotonin (feel-good chemical that stabilizes and produces contentment)
• Ethereal (felt in spirit)
• Conscious (mindfully chosen with thought)
• Isn’t addictive or achievable through substances
• Active (creative challenges, movement)
• Long term results (learning, mastering a skill)

Dopamine is a chemical reward that drives goal accomplishment. Pleasure is felt in the body, can be addictive, and is achievable through substances like drugs, nicotine, and alcohol. Pleasure can be achieved in isolation with short term results. Pleasure is often unconsciously and passively sought. Dopamine can be derived from healthy behaviors like exploring hobbies, and task accomplishment. But unhealthy sources come with negative effects. [See the video from Robert Lustig. He also has a book “Fat Chance,” and TED talk: Sugar: the elephant in the kitchen ]

Satisfaction comes from accomplishing meaningful goals. You can’t keep satisfaction, but you can GET some with:

↳ Goals: move toward intrinsic goals [How to set the right goals Office Hours]

↳ Effort: seeking goals involves struggle [Do hard things Office Hours]

↳ Task Accomplishment: arrange rewards for small steps – beware the lie of dopamine that it lasts forever, the joy is in the journey. Satisfaction = Haves ÷ Wants: manage your wants.

It was an earth-shaking moment for me when I first heard him describe the importance of satisfaction. We do not find satisfaction by seeking comfort and avoiding effort. Read more at Develop Agency. [satisfaction short]

In today’s world, it is easy to distract ourselves from boredom with addictive technology, which also distracts us from what adds meaning and happiness to life. Being aware of the doom loop and gaining insight into how to deal with it will help us in the pursuit of meaning.

Resources: Video on the formula for happiness from the Well (7:04) Arthur Brook’s online meaning in life quiz, Michael Stegner’s online tools.

Learn more about Happiness. Find more TED talks by speakers who are also authors at TED talk book discussion.

How can we make a meaningful life? The answer to this question is outlined in a TED talk by Joshua Hicks: A scientific approach to a meaningful life. He describes four pillars of meaning: mattering, experiential appreciation, purpose, and seeking coherence.

Mattering is about feeling significant to others and leaving a positive lasting mark. Mattering to others often means having good relationships with friends and family members, while sociocultural significance may come from the work that we do. We can build relationships and cultivate friendships, and help others through work or volunteering. Make time to CARE.

• Communicate well
• Authentic awareness
• Relate with listening
• Emotional intelligence

• Take time for others
• Include, invite, introduce
• Make connections
• Entertain and have fun

Key skills for mattering are communication, emotional intelligence, and other social skills. Learn helpful skills with TED talks at the Relate and Communicate Pathways, plus the book (Amazon affiliate links provide a small commission that helps to support the Daily PlanIt) and TED talk below:

• Mattering by Jennifer Breheny Wallace, TED talk Why we need to know our lives matter.

Appreciation of experience is about noticing the world around us. We may enjoy a conversation or the taste of food, be moved by hearing music, or seeing the beauty of a rainbow or lightning. We may feel joy or awe in natural settings. We can increase our ability to be aware with meditation, by reducing distractions, expressing gratitude, and by exploring with curiosity. Be made SANE:

• Be observant and open
• Embrace mindfulness
• Make music and create art
• Add awareness of self and world
• Delete distractions and devote time
• Enhance workspaces and home
• Seek and see beauty
• Appreciate with awe and wonder
• Notice nature
• Express gratitude

Learn more with TED talks at the Create Pathway, plus the books and TED talks below:

• Joy: Joyful by Ingrid Fetell Lee, TED talk Where joy hides and where to find it
• Awe: Phosphorescence by Julia Baird, TED talk The power of feeling small: how awe and wonder sustain us
• Humor: Humor Me by Chris Duffy, TED talk How to find laughter anywhere

Purpose is the pursuit of goals that are both personally meaningful and make a positive mark on the world. Identify strengths, reflect on priorities, and plan purpose with vision, mission, and values for meaningful goals. Break large ambitions into smaller, actionable steps. Overcome procrastination and other obstacles. Maintain motivation and focus on what energizes you. Regularly review progress and re-align daily actions with your “why.” SMART MOVES for purpose:

• Start with strengths
• Master attention
• Act with agency
• Reach for vision and mission
• Target priorities
• Manage distractions
• Overcome procrastination
• View progress with reviews
• Engage energy and flow
• Stay on track for results

Key skills for purpose are self-reflection, knowledge of the career search process, goal setting, planning, and time management. Look for Clues to Purpose and Ikigai. Learn helpful skills for purpose with TED talks at the Purpose, Work Engagement, and Aspire Pathways. Start with the following book and TED talk:

• Get It Done by Ayelet Fishbach, TED talk How to set the right goals and stay motivated.

Seek Coherence – the feeling that your life makes sense. Regular routines provide the rhythms that help us feel that life is meaningful. Experiencing a traumatic event, shattered expectations, and overthinking can leave us feeling that life is beyond our comprehension. Seek clarity when life feels UNCERTAIN:

• Uplift with compassion and self-care
• Navigate change and uncertainty
• Choose to cultivate courage
• Expand thinking and examine beliefs
• Regulate emotions
• Take small steps with a structured routine
• Act with agency to control or influence what you can
• Integrate influence
• Notice with experiential appreciation

Key skills for coherence are emotional intelligence, resilience, positive self-talk, psychological distance, courage, and realistic optimism. Learn helpful skills with TED Talks at the Clarity Pathway (which includes emotional intelligence) and the Psychology Pathway. Plus the following book and TED Talk:

• Coherence by Alan Watkins, TED talk The Journey from mental health to enlightenment. Wake up, Grow up, Own up, and Show up.

In his book “The Meaning of Your Life,“Arthur Brooks describes three pillars of a meaningful life identified by Michael Steger: coherence, purpose, and significance. Read more at Elements of Happiness.

Learn more at The Choice to Act. Find more TED talks by speakers who are also authors at TED talk book discussion.

Change is a part of life, and that is a truth often resisted. It can take courage to face change. FLARES that can light the way and help us as we navigate change:

• Focus with awareness
• Look for a supportive crew
• Accept uncertainty
• Rely on resilience
• Embrace a growth mindset
• Steer the ship around obstacles

“We cannot direct the wind, but we can adjust the sails.” the origin of the quote is unclear, but ironically, the truth of it remains constant.

Remember that sometimes change can be a good thing. Practice awareness of yourself, others, and what is happening in the world for clarity.

Relationships with others who support us are important as we navigate change. Develop connections with those who will provide honest feedback and encouragement.

Renew your ability to bounce back from difficulties with resilience. Practice self-care and focus on what you can control or influence.

Resisting change can sometimes make it harder. Accept the reality that change happens, and that uncertainty and the unknown will be encountered, when trying something new and reaching for goals. Courage is when we act despite fear.

Rely on a belief in your ability to learn and grow. Act with agency, and know that failure and mistakes are opportunities to learn.

Regardless of what is happening, look for ways to steer around obstacles and adapt.

Books and TED talks

Amazon affiliate links to books provide a small commission that helps to support the Daily PlanIt.

• “How Change Really Works” by Kristy Ellmer, TED talk The key to navigating change with confidence.
• “The Other Side of Change” by Maya Shankar, TED talk Why change is so scary, and how to unlock its potential. Stop ruminating with psychological distancing: zoom out, zoom in.
• “Life is in the Transitions” by Bruce Feiler, TED talk The secret to mastering life’s biggest transistions.
• Proof: the uncertain science of certainty by Adam Kucharski, TED talk Why does uncertainty bother us so much?
• TED talk What leaders need to know about change by Taylor Harrell
• “Switch” by Chip and Dan Heath
• “Leading Change” by John Kotter (not analyze, think, change – but see, feel, change)

Find more TED talks by speakers who are also authors at TED talk book discussion.