Fly Into the Learning Zone

Posted on July 20, 2026 by dailyplanit

Learning is the way to aquire the skills needed to handle the challenges of life. But apathy, anxiety, and the desire for comfort can prevent us from learning.

The learning zone is where we develop skills, improve, and grow. The learning zone is a great place to be, but other danger zones threaten our ability to get there. There are things that we can do in each of the danger zones to help us get to the learning zone.

Amy Edmondson describes the Learning Zone as the ideal state of team performance, combining high psychological safety with high accountability. In this environment, people feel safe taking intelligent risks and admitting mistakes while remaining intensely motivated to achieve demanding goals. In her work (see her book and TED talk below), she emphasizes the importance of psychological safety and performance standards. Move into the learning zone with a growth mindset and actions that help to move us out of the DANGER zones. Team members can encourage each other and provide support in learning and development. Explore Learning TED talks and the Work Engagement pathway and get to the learning zone with TEAMS.

• Trust in abilities
• Expect effort
• Accept challenges
• Mistakes = learning
• Support squad

Beware the DANGER zones that prevent learning:

The comfort zone is a place of safety and security, however no learning happens there. The comfort zone is often a default position, because to change means expending effort and facing obstacles like fear with courage. But the satisfaction of achieving goals is important to our well-being and growth. Follow pathways to Aspire and overcome obstacles. Take a small STEP out of the comfort zone into the learning zone:

• Set correct goals (slightly challenging, but not overwhelming)
• Take action with agency and small steps
• Engage strengths
• Practice helpful microhabits

The anxiety zone is the place where there are demands beyond our skill level. To HEAD out of the anxiety zone into the learning zone, develop skills, increase awareness and emotional intelligence, and learn to handle anxiety and stress with coping skills. Find Emotional Intelligence TED talks, and follow the Clarity pathway. Use your HEAD to fly out of this zone into learning.

• Handle stress
• Emotional regulation
• Add awareness
• Develop skills

The apathy zone is the place where we are uninterested and uninvolved. We stop trying and check out. We can get there from either the comfort zone (understimulation) or the anxiety zone (overstimulation). Inspire the motivation FELT when exploring with curiosity and purpose. Follow the Create and Purpose pathways to move out of the apathy zone into learning:

• Find purpose and flow
• Expand creativity
• Lead with positive self-talk
• Try an experiment

Four Stages of Competence

The Four Stages of Competence describes the stages we go through when learning a new skill: I. Unconscious competence (ignorance), II. conscious incompetence (awareness), III. conscious competence (learning) and IV. unconscious competence (mastery). This model came from management coach Martin M. Broadwell in the 1960s. The Journey is about discovering that change is needed, preparing and gaining awareness, and proceeding through learning, to mastery.

Books and TED talks:

Amazon affiliate links to books provide a small commission to help support the Daily PlanIt.

Find more at Learning TED talks at Pinterest and at TED talk book discussion.

Posted in personal development

The Journey

Posted on July 6, 2026 by dailyplanit

When life seems to be a chaos of confusion we want to move to a place of understanding and harmony. A state of coherence, the feeling that life makes sense, is one of the elements of meaning. What is life, if not seeking coherence in a journey of self-discovery, transformation, and growth? Alan Watkins compares this journey to the Hero’s Journey of storytelling identified by Joseph Campbell. It is a process of awakening to the challenge of change, choosing change over comfort, and taking the steps necessary to evolve. The four phases of this process are: Discover (Wake Up) – Decide (Own Up) – Develop (Grow Up) – Deliver (Show Up)

Step Change: the leader’s journey, and Coherence by Alan Watkins, TED talk The journey from mental health to enlightenment. App: Complete (energy & breathing) Amazon affiliate links provide a small commission that helps to support the Daily PlanIt at no additional charge.

The Wheel of Development at Complete Coherence:

  • Discover: Wake Up – Realize the cost of staying the same, recognize the truth that a change is needed, face the reality of the discomfort that will be encountered. (1. comfort, 2. challenge, 3. resistance) [Comfort Zone, Creating Clarity]
  • Decide: Own up – Accept the challenge, and make a decision to transform. Begin to overcome resistance and sabotaging beliefs and behaviors, build systems and support for the change (4. subsides, 5. commitment, 6. preparation) [Change Mindset, Examine Beliefs, Adjust Self-talk, Set up Systems]
  • Develop: Grow up – Intentionally navigate trials and tribulations by developing new psychological or professional skills, master and demonstrate the change. (7. work, 8. deep work, 9, embody the change) [Overcoming Obstacles, Thinking BIG, thinking small]
  • Deliver: Show up – Move from internal change to external contribution, delivering results at a higher, more sophisticated level, and inspiring others to change. (10. return, 11. deliver, 12. inspire) Links to all articles at inspire. [www.mybestself101.org/contribution]

Youtube playlist of more TEDx talks by Alan Watkins including:

• How to solve the world’s toughest problems
• Be brilliant every day
• Why you feel what you feel

More Resources:

The Hero’s Journey

Find more TED talks and books by the speakers at TED Talk Book Discussion.

Posted in personal development

Thinking BIG, Thinking small

Posted on June 28, 2026 by dailyplanit

Is it better to think BIG, or to think small? It turns out, both are important in their own ways.

Divergent thinking is about DREAMing up BIG ideas:

• Different perspectives
• Reveal novel solutions
• Explore possibilities
• Add creative ideas
• Make new connections

Creative thinking may be outside the box (unrestrained), or inside the box (constrained). But facing FEARS by asking the right questions can make a BIG difference.

• Face possible failure
• Experiment
• Ask the right questions
• Reveal and challenge assumptions
• Shift to new mental models

Limits and boundaries can actually drive creativity. David Epstein talks about constraints at Big Think and in his new book Inside the Box. Amazon affiliate links provide a small commission to help support the Daily PlanIt at no additional charge.

Books and TED talks about creative thinking:

Think BIG to plan long range goals that AIM at purpose. Ask “Why not?” and “What if anything is possible?” Thinking BIG is about using your BRAIN to:

• Begin with broad strokes
• Reveal problems to solve
• Assess situation and abilities
• Imagine possibilities
• Notice solutions

Books and TED talks about BIG Thinking:

Find what FITS:
• Focus on the 20% of activities with 80% of impact (Pareto Principle)
• Innovative new connections of puzzle pieces
• Take massive action
• See what others think

Convergent Thinking is about narrowing focus to find the best solution.

• Focus on one best solution
• Reduce distractions
• Analyze ideas
• Make plans
• Eliminate obstacles

Thinking medium can be helpful for planning mid-range projects, the step between longer term goals and short term actions. Ask “How can I?” and “How can we?” “What has the biggest impact?” An article from Pamela Slim shows how to break it down. Be CLEAR when planning projects:

• Consider priorities and plan
• Look at impact and effort
• Examine reasons (why?)
• Address relevance (who?)
• Reveal required resources (how?)

Learn more about Divergent and Convergent thinking at Plan.io and University of Texas at Austin.

Thinking small is especially important for habits, because more doable actions are more likely to be accomplished. Think in detail for shorter term goals. Ask “What is the smallest step to take?” and “What is the best step to take?”

STACK habits:

• Start with small steps
• Try experiments
• Achievable actions
• Consistency
• Key measures

Micro-habits aim for significant results with small changes:
• Break it down
• Anchor to existing routines
• Make it easy

Books and TED talks about micro-habits:

DARE to overcome cognitive biases. The Dunning-Kruger effect says that we tend to overestimate our abilities, while the opposite is true with the Imposter Syndrome and limiting beliefs. The Optimism Bias says that we may underestimate the likelihood of negative risks or overestimate positive possibilities, while Negativity Bias says that we tend to focus more on problems, risks, and threats than on positive experiences, and feel negative events more intensely.
• Determine true risks
• Aim with accurate information
• Reveal real strengths
• Examine data

Realistic Optimism is the best answer for dealing with cognitive biases. Be CLEAR to see and change the things you can.
• Confidence you will prevail
• Look at beliefs
• Expect to expend effort, expand comfort zone
• Accurate self-assessment
• Reasonable and rational thinking

After all this thinking, comes the time for action. MOVE and START:

• Master distractions and focus
• On target for desired outcomes
• Very aware of progress
• Execute with agency
• Stay on task
• Take breaks when needed
• Actively engage strengths
• Rally energy and resilience
• Tackle priorities with peak energy

RECLAIM Agency to act independently and intentionally to influence outcomes:

• Remember realistic optimism
• Expand the comfort zone
• Cultivate courage and creativity
• Look at limiting beliefs
• Always be aware of distractions
• Include small steps
• Master a growth mindset

Know your Circles of influence: what things are outside your control, what are within your control, and what you can influence.

We can CONTROL: Self, Actions, Thoughts, and INFLUENCE:
• Plans
• Relationships
• Attitude
• Integrity
• Self-belief
• Effort
• Development

Find more pathways and TED talks by speakers who are also authors at TED Talk Book Discussion.

Posted in goals

Pathway for Overcoming Obstacles

Posted on June 20, 2026 by dailyplanit

Often the biggest challenges we face are the obstacles that we create ourselves to avoid discomfort. This is a striking truth I uncovered while perusing TED talks to discover a unified theory of meaning. Setting goals in the pursuit of purpose involves facing challenges, and skills are how you thrive. Life presents challenges regardless of whether we seek them or not, and skills are needed simply to survive. To deal with DISCOMFORT and GET PREPARED for the challenges, learn and develop skills with the following books and TED talks. Amazon affiliate links provide a small commission that helps support the Daily PlanIt at no additional cost.

In the Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade movie, Indy must navigate several trials to get to the Holy Grail. The final trial is to cross an apparantly impassable ravine. It requires taking a leap of faith and discovering there is actually an invisible bridge across that is hidden by perspective. Is it possible that your biggest obstacle is YOU? Can you learn to deal with discomfort?

Discomfort is a feeling of uneasiness that can be interpreted as a red flag to trigger avoidance, but discomfort can often be a signal that you are experiencing something new, challenging, or unfamiliar rather than facing actual, imminent physical harm. Our brains are wired for survival and often equate “unfamiliar” with “unsafe.” This results in elevated heart rates, tightness in the chest, or sweaty palms, which the brain’s prediction system quickly sees as threat. However, these are frequently just normal bodily reactions to stress, anxiety, or change, and not a sign of real physical peril. Discomfort can be a sign of development and progress when we step outside of our comfort zone to learn, grow, and change.

Overcome the Obstacles – Deal with DISCOMFORT The Discomfort Zone by Farrah Storr, TED talk The discomfort zone and Amanda Lang The Beauty of Discomfort, TED talk The beauty of discomfort

The biggest self-created obstacle may be our inner deceptions – limiting beliefs that hold us back. Learn more at the Power of Belief.

GET PREPARED

We can learn how to deal with discomfort and stop creating obstacles for ourselves. Develop strengths and skills to prepare for challenges with the books below and TED talks at Pinterest pathways for overcoming obstacles, behavior change, and development.

  • Growth mindset Mindset by Carol Dweck, TED talk The power of believing that you can improve [Change your mindset]

Find more pathways and TED talks by speakers who are also authors at TED Talk Book Discussion. Find more Great Reads Pathways at Pinterest.

Posted in personal development

The Power of Belief

Posted on June 13, 2026 by dailyplanit

Author and TED speaker (What makes technology so habit forming?) Nir Eyal has written several books about frameworks to master attention, build better habits, and rethink the beliefs that shape behavior.

In his latest book, “Beyond Belief,” the author describes how our (often unconscious) thoughts dictate our actions, in ways that are not always helpful to us. He presents research about beliefs and concludes that beliefs are mental tools rather than rigid facts. While fact is objective truth, and faith is conviction without evidence, belief is firmly held opinion that is open to revision based on new evidence. Beliefs help us navigate reality when the truth is not fully known, and we can choose beliefs that are helpful to us. The best beliefs are based on practical reality, open to adjustment, and hold up to real world feedback. Hoping that results will manifest on their own and waiting for problems to resolve by themselves can be unrealistic and an excuse for inaction. We often picture motivation as a straight line from behavior for a benefit, but believing that effort will make a difference is crucial.

The book is divided into three sections presenting stories and studies about the three powers of belief: attention, anticipation, and agency. Each chapter ends with a list of limiting beliefs that can be transformed into liberating beliefs. At the end of the book are Takeaways for each chapter.

Attention: beliefs shape perceptions, which in turn affects what we do. In his book “Indistractable,” the author shows how attention can be diverted by external and internal distractions. The opposite of distraction is traction: action toward what we really want. Mastering our own internal distractions means understanding what drives your behavior, which is often decided by avoidance of discomfort. An article at his website describes steps from Dr. Jonathan Bricker to keep a distraction log. https://www.nirandfar.com/distractions (Jonathan Bricker’s TED talk The Secret to Self Control). Learn more about dealing with Distractions.

Anticipation: we feel what we believe. The experience loop: believe – anticipate – feel – confirm, is often used to trigger desire for a product by marketers. In the book “Hooked,” the author describes a user’s interactions with a product as they pass through four phases: a trigger to begin using the product, an action to satisfy the trigger, a variable reward for the action, and some type of investment that, ultimately, makes the product more valuable to the user. The author suggests using selective skepticism. https://www.nirandfar.com/how-to-manufacture-desire/

Agency: what we believe affects our ability to act and stay motivated. Agency is the capacity to take action, make choices, and exert control over your life and environment. Albert Bandura researched self-efficacy, the belief in our ability to shape our lives through our own efforts. People with an internal locus of control believe that their personal decisions and efforts guide much of their lives. Those with an external locus of control believe that outside forces like fate, luck, circumstances, and temptations—are responsible for the events of their lives.

Our limiting beliefs can be one of our biggest obstacles. This section of the book points out that research has shown that helplessness is a default, rather than being learned. The author says the antidote to limiting beliefs is hope, achieved through small, actionable acts of agency. Optimal challenges give us opportunities to build competence with mastery experiences. By successfully taking charge in a challenging situation, the brain pathways that override passive defaults are reinforced. Martin Seligman says that with optimism, we can “light up” what he calls a hope circuit in the medial prefrontal cortex. Confront your inner deceptions and insecurities with truth. Pay attention to self-talk and master your mindset. https://www.nirandfar.com/locus-of-control/ Learn more about Agency.

Charles Snyder was a professor at the University of Kansas who researched hope theory. Hope Theory defines hope not as an emotion, but as a cognitive and motivational state. It operates on a simple equation: Hope = Goals + Agency + Pathways. Hope comes from believing that you can achieve goals (what power), having confidence in your agency (willpower), and a pathway to achieve your goals (way-power). Willpower is the mental energy used to push through challenges which can deplete quickly. Self-efficacy is the belief in our ability to achieve goals. Way-power is the mental capacity to find good solutions for achieving them. With skillpower we can build systems that support helpful habits. Hopeful thinking activates specific neural pathways that help you navigate adversity with greater resilience.

GOALS – What power. To discover goals that you want to do, you need to understand yourself. The Discover U series includes resources for identifying strengths and more. Gain what power by developing skills for goal setting, planning, and productivity.

PATHWAYS – Way power. To build pathways: identify the problem (where you are stuck), look for effective options, and build a pathway forward with resources and your strengths.

AGENCY – Willpower. To develop personal agency (the ability to act independently and intentionally to influence life) use strengths and gain confidence with small steps toward competence. Be aware of what you can influence and overcome limiting beliefs. Learn more about Mental Beliefs 

Books and TED talks about:

Beliefs

Hope

More resources on:

Belief

Hope

Posted in Books, personal development

Emotional Intelligence TED Talks

Posted on May 24, 2026 by dailyplanit

The skill of emotional intelligence is so important for connecting with others and making a meaningful life. Learn about developing emotional intelligence with the following books and TED talks.

Links to the TED talks can be found at the Emotional Intelligence TED talks board at Pinterest. Some of the presenters are also authors, and books purchased with the Amazon affiliate links below provide a small commission at no extra cost that helps to support the Daily PlanIt.

NOTICE (start with awareness: learn more at Creating Clarity and Wheel of Awareness)

I. AWARENESS – EMOTIONAL SELF-AWARENESS
↳ THE BRAIN: the fight or flight response (learn more at Brain Basics)
TEDED How to make your stress work for you, David Donaldson TED talk Resilience: the up side of down, Trevor Ragan TED talk How to “overcome” fear
➸ ANGER Why We Get Mad by Ryan Martin, TED talk Why we get mad, and why it’s healthy
➸ FEAR TEDED Mikeal Cho the science of stage fright, Jen Gunter anxiety: normal or disorder?
↳ THE BODY: physical cues to emotions (learn more at Identify Emotions)
• How Emotions are Made by Lisa Feldman Barrett, TED talk You aren’t at the mercy of your emotions
➸ EMOTIONS & THOUGHTS (REBT, Self-talk) Jennifer Willis TED talk What’s Your Frame?
↳ PAUSE: allow chemicals that flood the body after a fight or flight response to subside for better access to the thinking brain (learn more at The Power of a Pause)
• Emotion Rules by Joshua Freedman, TED talk Emotional what? www.6seconds.org, free apps at app store
• Alistair Horscroft TED talk 7 seconds to change your life

II. MANAGE: self regulation of emotions (learn more at Manage Emotions)
↳ SHORT TERM (breathe slowly, splash cold water) Wendy Suzuki How to calm your anxiety
• Bridge the Gap by Jennifer Edwards and Katie McCleary, TED talk Elevate your E.Q.
• Stress Resets by Jennifer Taitz, TED talk Stress resets, the ultimate mental health hack
↳ LONG TERM (self-care: meditate, move, manage stress. Learn more at the Coping Skills Toolkit)
• Emotional Intelligence 2.0 by Travis Bradberry, TED talk The power of emotional intelligence
• Living an Exceptional Life by C.J. Calvert, TED talk How to manage your emotions in difficult times
↳ RESILIENCE (learn more at the Six Rs of Resilience and the DEVELOPMENT Pathway at Pinterest)
• Deal With It by Lehan Stemmet, TED talk Change your brain and resilience

III. EMOTIONS OF OTHERS (learn more at Emotional Intelligence)
↳ SOCIAL CUES Dong Seon-Chang TED What do others think of you? How the brain perceives other people, Rebecca Saxe TED How we read each other’s minds
↳ EXPRESSIONS Universal expressions of emotions (learn more at Understanding Body Language)
↳ EMPATHIZE The Empathy Effect by Helen Reiss and Liz Neporent, TED talk The power of empathy

IV. SOCIAL SKILLS ➸ Communicate (learn more at Pathway to Communication)
↳ CONNECT A Little More Social by Nicholas Epley, TED talk The simple habit for a happier social life
↳ ATTENTION Alone Together by Sherry Turkle, TED talk Connected, but alone
↳ BUILD RELATIONSHIPS Social by Matthew Lieberman, TED talk The social brain and its superpowers

More TED talks and books about emotional intelligence:

Posted in personal development

Elements of Happiness

Posted on May 14, 2026 by dailyplanit

Arthur Brooks has studied and shared information about happiness for quite awhile. He describes what he calls the Happiness equation: happiness = meaning + enjoyment + satisfaction. His book “The Happiness Files,” is a curated collection from his “How to Build a Life” column in The Atlantic, TED talk on The art and science of happiness. [Amazon affiliate links provide a small commission that helps to support the Daily PlanIt]

• Meaning (Coherence + Purpose + Significance): This involves understanding why things happen, having a sense of direction, and believing your life has significance.

• Enjoyment (Pleasure + People + Memory): Enjoyment comes from engaging in activities that are actively chosen and savored. It increases when shared with others.

• Satisfaction (The Joy of Struggle): This is the fulfillment derived from working hard to achieve a goal. Satisfaction comes from effort and the joy of accomplishment after struggle.

Meaning is the main focus of his new book, “The Meaning of Your Life.” He outlines three elements from the work of Michael Steger, author of Purpose and Meaning in the Workplace, TED talk: What makes life meaningful.

↳ Coherence means feeling that your life makes sense. Learn more about gaining coherence at MAPS to a meaningful life.

↳ Purpose involves having goals and a guiding direction.

↳ Significance is about the value of your life to yourself and others, not just accomplishments, but the positive impact you have. [Youtube short]

Enjoyment is about shared and savored experiences. [Youtube short] To increase enjoyment, the next element of the happiness equation:

↳ Savor: appreciation with awareness. [How to enjoy your life Office Hours]

↳ Active: fully engage in experiences to feel flow. [How to be good at leisure Office Hours]

↳ Social: increase enjoyment by interacting with others.

A key distinction to understand is the difference between enjoyment and pleasure. [Arthur Brooks on the difference between enjoyment and pleasure] True enjoyment is SPECIAL:

• Social (birthday party, game night)
• Produces serotonin (feel-good chemical that stabilizes and produces contentment)
• Ethereal (felt in spirit)
• Conscious (mindfully chosen with thought)
• Isn’t addictive or achievable through substances
• Active (creative challenges, movement)
• Long term results (learning, mastering a skill)

Dopamine is a chemical reward that drives goal accomplishment. Pleasure is felt in the body, can be addictive, and is achievable through substances like drugs, nicotine, and alcohol. Pleasure can be achieved in isolation with short term results. Pleasure is often unconsciously and passively sought. Dopamine can be derived from healthy behaviors like exploring hobbies, and task accomplishment. But unhealthy sources come with negative effects. [See the video from Robert Lustig. He also has a book “Fat Chance,” and TED talk: Sugar: the elephant in the kitchen ]

Satisfaction comes from accomplishing meaningful goals. You can’t keep satisfaction, but you can GET some with:

↳ Goals: move toward intrinsic goals [How to set the right goals Office Hours]

↳ Effort: seeking goals involves struggle [Do hard things Office Hours]

↳ Task Accomplishment: arrange rewards for small steps – beware the lie of dopamine that it lasts forever, the joy is in the journey. Satisfaction = Haves ÷ Wants: manage your wants.

It was an earth-shaking moment for me when I first heard him describe the importance of satisfaction. We do not find satisfaction by seeking comfort and avoiding effort. Watch Martina Lofqvist’s TED talk Why hard challenges are good for you, and read more at Develop Agency. [satisfaction short]

In today’s world, it is easy to distract ourselves from boredom with addictive technology, which also distracts us from what adds meaning and happiness to life. Being aware of the doom loop and gaining insight into how to deal with it will help us in the pursuit of meaning.

Resources: Video on the formula for happiness from the Well (7:04) Arthur Brook’s online meaning in life quiz, Michael Stegner’s online tools. Matt Killingsworth TED talk Want to be happier? Stay in the moment

Learn more about Happiness. Find more TED talks by speakers who are also authors at TED talk book discussion.

Posted in personal development

Maps to a Meaningful Life

Posted on April 25, 2026 by dailyplanit

How can we make a meaningful life? The answer to this question is outlined in a TED talk by Joshua Hicks: A scientific approach to a meaningful life. He describes four pillars of meaning: mattering, experiential appreciation, purpose, and seeking coherence.

Mattering is about feeling significant to others and leaving a positive lasting mark. Mattering to others often means having good relationships with friends and family members, while sociocultural significance may come from the work that we do. We can build relationships and cultivate friendships, and help others through work or volunteering. Make time to CARE.

• Communicate well
• Authentic awareness
• Relate with listening
• Emotional intelligence

• Take time for others
• Include, invite, introduce
• Make connections
• Entertain and have fun

Key skills for mattering are communication, emotional intelligence, and other social skills. Learn helpful skills with TED talks at the Relate and Communicate Pathways, plus the book (Amazon affiliate links provide a small commission that helps to support the Daily PlanIt) and TED talk below:

Appreciation of experience is about noticing the world around us. We may enjoy a conversation or the taste of food, be moved by hearing music, or seeing the beauty of a rainbow or lightning. We may feel joy or awe in natural settings. We can increase our ability to be aware with meditation, by reducing distractions, expressing gratitude, and by exploring with curiosity. Be made SANE:

• Be observant and open
• Embrace mindfulness
• Make music and create art
• Add awareness of self and world
• Delete distractions and devote time
• Enhance workspaces and home
• Seek and see beauty
• Appreciate with awe and wonder
• Notice nature
• Express gratitude

Learn more with TED talks at the Create Pathway, plus the books and TED talks below:

Purpose is the pursuit of goals that are both personally meaningful and make a positive mark on the world. Identify strengths, reflect on priorities, and plan purpose with vision, mission, and values for meaningful goals. Break large ambitions into smaller, actionable steps. Overcome procrastination and other obstacles. Maintain motivation and focus on what energizes you. Regularly review progress and re-align daily actions with your “why.” SMART MOVES for purpose:

• Start with strengths
• Master attention
• Act with agency
• Reach for vision and mission
• Target priorities
• Manage distractions
• Overcome procrastination
• View progress with reviews
• Engage energy and flow
• Stay on track for results

Key skills for purpose are self-reflection, knowledge of the career search process, goal setting, planning, and time management. Look for Clues to Purpose and Ikigai. Learn helpful skills for purpose with TED talks at the Purpose, Work Engagement, and Aspire Pathways. Start with the following book and TED talk:

  • Get It Done by Ayelet Fishbach, TED talk How to set the right goals and stay motivated.

Seek Coherence – the feeling that your life makes sense. Regular routines provide the rhythms that help us feel that life is meaningful. Experiencing a traumatic event, shattered expectations, and overthinking can leave us feeling that life is beyond our comprehension. Seek clarity when life feels UNCERTAIN:

• Uplift with compassion and self-care
• Navigate change and uncertainty
• Choose to cultivate courage
• Expand thinking and examine beliefs
• Regulate emotions
• Take small steps with a structured routine
• Act with agency to control or influence what you can
• Integrate influence
• Notice with experiential appreciation

Key skills for coherence are emotional intelligence, resilience, positive self-talk, psychological distance, courage, and realistic optimism. Learn helpful skills with TED Talks at the Clarity Pathway (which includes emotional intelligence) and the Psychology Pathway. Plus the following book and TED Talk:

Learn more

• In his book “The Meaning of Your Life,“Arthur Brooks describes three pillars of a meaningful life identified by Michael Steger: coherence, purpose, and significance. Read more at Elements of Happiness.

• In her book “The Power of Meaning,” and TED talk, There’s more to life than being happy, Emily Esfahani Smith describes meaning as coming from belonging, purpose, transcendence, and storytelling.

• Meaning in Life article from Mahon McCann

Learn more at The Choice to Act. Find more TED talks by speakers who are also authors at TED talk book discussion.

Posted in personal development

Navigating Change

Posted on April 12, 2026 by dailyplanit

Change is a part of life, and that is a truth often resisted. It can take courage to face change. FLARES that can light the way and help us as we navigate change:

• Focus with awareness
• Look for a supportive crew
• Accept uncertainty
• Rely on resilience
• Embrace a growth mindset
• Steer the ship around obstacles

“We cannot direct the wind, but we can adjust the sails.” the origin of the quote is unclear, but ironically, the truth of it remains constant.

Remember that sometimes change can be a good thing. Practice awareness of yourself, others, and what is happening in the world for clarity.

Relationships with others who support us are important as we navigate change. Develop connections with those who will provide honest feedback and encouragement.

Renew your ability to bounce back from difficulties with resilience. Practice self-care and focus on what you can control or influence.

Resisting change can sometimes make it harder. Accept the reality that change happens, and that uncertainty and the unknown will be encountered, when trying something new and reaching for goals. Courage is when we act despite fear.

Rely on a belief in your ability to learn and grow. Act with agency, and know that failure and mistakes are opportunities to learn.

Regardless of what is happening, look for ways to steer around obstacles and adapt.

Books and TED talks

Amazon affiliate links to books provide a small commission that helps to support the Daily PlanIt.

Find more TED talks by speakers who are also authors at TED talk book discussion.

Posted in personal development

Affirmations and Self-Talk

Posted on April 3, 2026 by dailyplanit

The voices in our head can sometimes be quite critical and unkind. When we pay attention to the things we are saying to ourselves, we can learn to change negative self-talk into positive. We can speak to ourselves as we would to a friend. Learning to treat ourselves with compassion and kindness leads to more compassion for others as well. Our ability to be kind to others increases.

Affirmations are phrases that describe the results of adopting a positive belief that can help change our mindset when repeated frequently. Affirmations should be:
• Always positive
• First person or name: “I am, I can, I do…” [your name] is, can, does
• Friendly: speak to self as you would to a friend
• In present tense: happening now
• Reality based: believable
• Meaningful: express belief in self, resilience, agency, and ability to grow

Simply saying something does not make it so, but words can be powerful! Affirmations do not possess a magical power to change reality, but a close look at the accuracy of our thoughts and beliefs can be a good choice. Our feelings can be shaped by the things we tell ourselves. Our relationships can be altered by the things that we say. Striving to always be honest and kind with your words will go a long way toward creating the life that you want.

To REAP the benefits of affirmations:
• Repeat daily
• Expand emotion
• Add visualization
• Post where you will see often

EXAMPLES: I am loved. I can breathe deeply and fully. I practice compassion. See more examples at The Not So Big Life.

THINK before you speak – to yourself or others. Is it:

  • True
  • Helpful
  • Inspiring
  • Necessary
  • Kind

Automatic negative thoughts (ANTs) are habitual, involuntary thoughts that pop into our brains. They are often false, unhelpful, and directly contribute to anxiety because a fear response is triggered by the perception of danger or threat. Lindsay Bramman has an Intrusive Thought Flowchart.

There are two approaches for dealing with ANTS in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT).

Rational emotive behavior therapy (REBT) is a form of CBT developed by Albert Ellis that shows how beliefs about events lead to emotions. You learn to spot irrational thoughts, challenge them, and substitute rational thoughts instead.

With Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), you don’t fight the ANTs. Instead, you learn to notice and sit with them, but to not allow them to be in charge. It helps to gain a sense of meaning and purpose by taking actions that line up with your personal values. Whether you choose more realistic thoughts or a shift in attention to what really matters to you, automatic negative thoughts don’t have to control your life. (From https://therapyinanutshell.com/automatic-negative-thoughts/)

DIRECT Self Talk
• Deliberate distance
• Irrational to rational
• Re-frame
• Emotional congruence
• Coach not critic
• THINK before you speak

Speaking to yourself in third person can help you gain psychological distance and regulate emotions. An example is “[Your name], you’re okay, you’ve got this.” Re-frame with rational thoughts and a growth mindset. Align outward expression with internal emotions. Focus on solutions rather than dwelling on mistakes.

Books and TED Talks:

Books purchased with Amazon affiliate links below provide a small commission that helps support the Daily PlanIt. See more TED talks by authors at TED Talk Book Discussion.

See also: Creating Clarity, Examine Mental Beliefs, Overcome Obstacles, 6 Rs of Resilience. Coping Skills, plus Positive Self-talk at PsychCentral and Positive Affirmations at coping.us.

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