People need connections with others to thrive. A support squad or care crew can help you be your BEST.

• Build skills: problem-solving skills, critical thinking, and social-emotional awareness.
• Engagement: people get inspired to learn when interacting with others.
• Strong connections: build relationships while discovering new concepts together.
• Teach and learn: communities create an ongoing learning loop where peers ask questions and share knowledge and resources.

Find your people:

• Seek groups to join that have the same mission and interests
• Pick places that you like, particpate regularly
• Authentically be yourself [A Path to Being Authentic]
• Reveal consistent commitment
• Know yourself [Discover U]
• Speak about what matters to you

With a team that GLOWS you can:

• Gain input from others
• Learn in public
• Outline thoughts
• Work collaboratively
• Spark creativity with social connections

Benefits of a support squad – SHARE and CARE:

• Share information and ideas
• Help each other
• Ask for and give advice
• Review progress
• Encourage each other

• Connect and communicate
• Accountability for intentional action
• Relate with others
• Energizing experiences

Deep discussion questions:
• History: what experiences made you who you are?
• Heartbreak: what have you lost or struggled through?
• Hero: who do you admire most?
• Hope: what are you striving for in the coming year?

Look within your circles of support – family, friends, and professional connections – for others with shared interests, who care about learning, and are knowledgeable and helpful. Look for people who inspire and encourage you. Set check-ins to reach out on a regular basis and build relationships. In the game of life, we need allies to help us battle the bad guys and achieve epic wins!

Resources: Learning communities from Northern Illinois University

Books and TED talks

Amazon affiliate links to books provide a small commission to help support the Daily PlanIt.

• Tribes by Seth Godin, TED talks The tribes we lead and How to get your ideas to spread
• Tribal Leadership by David Logan, TED talk Tribal leadership
• Intention Into Action by Stacey Lauren, TED talk The Power of community to help you meet your goals
• You Will Find Your People by Lane Moore, TED talk How to be alone

Find more TED talks and books by the speakers at TED Talk Book Discussion.

See also Fly Into the Learning Zone, Teamwork, Leadership, Conversation Starters, Beyond Facebook, Making Connections, Don’t Wait, Relate, Anti-Loneliness Actions

The use of gamification to make learning more engaging fascinates me. Changing or establishing habits is hard, and any tools that might help are very valuable. Two TED talks by authors have explored the idea of gamifying some of the challenges of life.

Nerd Fitness is a website and app created by Steve Kamb to make diet and exercise accessible. He is the author of two books. The recently published How to Try Again is a guide to recovering from setbacks. Level Up Your Life is a fun place to start if you feel stuck at level one in life and need inspiration to expand your comfort zone. He outlines how to make yourself the hero of your own journey, and shares a spreadsheet of quests to pursue to level up your life. While the emphasis is on fitness and travel, the ideas can be applied to other goals to improve your life. His TED talk is Nerd fitness and resetting the game of life. [Amazon affiliate links provide a small commission that helps to support the Daily PlanIt at no additional charge.]

SuperBetter is a game-based self-help method created by game designer Jane McGonigal. She has a TED talk The game that can give you ten extra years of life, and is the author of the book Super Better. There is also an app. Super Better employs the psychology of gameplay in a framework that helps individuals build physical, mental, emotional, and social resilience, achieve personal goals, and overcome challenges.

Game mechanics described at the SuperBetter FAQs page include:

Epic Wins: These are goals that are meaningful and challenging, yet still within reach. Seek an inspiring outcome you want to achieve, and envision what the result will look like. Examples: recovering from an injury, overcoming burnout, or running a 5K.
Allies: Rally a support squad of others to help and encourage you.
Bad Guys: Identify enemies and train for battle. These can be distractions, procrastination, bad habits, negative inner voices, and other obstacles that we often create ourselves. Prepare for battle by practicing dealing with discomfort and honing resilience skills.
Quests: These are small, structured steps taken incrementally to reach your larger long-term goals (the “Epic Wins”). Quests require a bit more effort than power-ups and are designed to build hope and optimism. They may be tiny experiments or small incremental micro-habits that lead to bigger changes.
Power-Ups: Gain strength and energy with quick, easy, and positive actions to boost your mood, energy, or resilience in the moment. These self-care mini-actions are designed to help you regain energy and bounce back from stress or fatigue.
Future Boosts are scheduled events or rewards that give you a point boost when the big day arrives. They are designed to help you find things to look forward to, sustain motivation, and reward you for sticking to your long-term goals and plans.

A SuperBetter plan:

1. Choose an epic win to chase: a meaningful goal that provides a tough but achievable challenge.
2. Identify and battle the Bad Guys. Learn strategies to fight your biggest enemies like psychological flexibility and rational thinking. ↴
3. Recruit your Allies. Enlist friends, family, or colleagues to support your journey and keep you accountable.
4. Collect and activate Power-ups. Perform small, simple activities that boost physical, mental, or emotional well-being each day. ↴
5. Pursue daily Quests: small, manageable steps toward goals or the ultimate “Epic Win.” Every quest offers 3 power-up opportunities: one for imagining the positive result, one upon completion, and a future power-up when you recall completing this quest.
6. Earn Future Boosts. Scheduled events or rewards sustain motivation and give you something to look forward to. Gain rewards by accomplishing quests and increasing your resiliency score. Examples: a concert, a trip, or personal treats.

→ 2. For help in identifying and battling the bad guys that trigger self-sabotage, turn to Stop Self-sabotage by Judy Ho, TED talk How attachment influcences self-image. The author outlines L.I.F.E. factors that are the root causes of self-sabotage:

• Low or Shaky Self-Concept
• Internalized Beliefs
• Fear of Change or the Unknown
• Excessive Need for Control

These factors lead to six common self-sabotage triggers:

• Overgeneralizing/Catastrophizing
• “Shoulds”
• Black-and-White Thinking
• Mind Reading
• Discounting the Positive
• Personalization

To battle bad guys, do the REPS:

• Reframe thoughts with cognitive restructuring, a method used to manage emotions.
• Expand thinking with a shift to rational thoughts (learn more at understanding emotions)
• Proceed with psychological flexibility to difficulties with flexible responses and courage.
• Start challenging limiting beliefs and shifting to positive self-talk.

Laura Rubin is the author of The Big Unlock, and has a TED talk How Re-Framing Our Experiences Can Contribute to Our Well-Being. Steven Hayes is the author of A Liberated Mind,  and has a TED talk Psychological flexibility: How love turns pain into purpose.

→ 4. Examples of Power-ups from the SuperBetter Fandom WIKI;

• Physical Resilience: Actions that boost your body’s energy and health. Hydrate: Drink a full glass of water. Stretch: Spend a minute stretching your arms and legs. Breathe: Take 5 to 10 slow, deep, mindful breaths. Move: Take a quick 5-minute walk around the block.
• Mental Resilience: Actions that calm the mind, spark creativity, or build focus. Future Focus: Name two specific things you are looking forward to in the coming week. Positive Prompt: Write a thoughtful, encouraging comment on a forum, blog, or social media post. Learn: Spend 10 minutes reading about a new topic or subject.
• Emotional Resilience: Actions that spark quick moments of joy, gratitude, or peace. Appreciate Nature: Take a moment to watch a bird, smell a sidewalk flower, or sit in the sunshine for 10 minutes. Audio Boost: Listen to a song that makes you feel powerful or happy. Sensory Engagement: Light a favorite scented candle or use essential oils, focusing completely on the scent.
• Social Resilience: Actions that nurture relationships and help you connect with others. Check-In: Send a quick text or email to a friend saying “You’re awesome” or “Thinking of you.” Express appreciation by thanking someone you are grateful for. Call or visit a trusted friend or family member for a quick pick-me-up.

Create good days = 1 quest completed + 1 bad guy defeated + 3 power-ups

The website Butler’s Back Porch has helpful posts about how to game your way to a good day with SuperBetter:

• Challenge yourself.
• Collect and activate Power-ups.
• Find and battle the Bad Guys.
• Seek out and complete Quests.
• Recruit your Allies.
• Adopt a Secret Identity.
• Go for an Epic Win!
• Scoring

Learn more:

• Life As Sport by Jonathan Fader, TED talk Win the game of life with sport psychology
• Ken Leinbach TED talk The game of life
• Conway’s Game of Life
• The Structure of meaning in life article from Mahon McCann
• Find more books and TED talks at TED talk book discussion

 

Learning is the way to aquire the skills needed to handle the challenges of life. But apathy, anxiety, and the desire for comfort can prevent us from learning.

The learning zone is where we develop skills, improve, and grow. The learning zone is a great place to be, but other danger zones threaten our ability to get there. There are things that we can do in each of the danger zones to help us get to the learning zone.

Amy Edmondson describes the Learning Zone as the ideal state of team performance, combining high psychological safety with high accountability. In this environment, people feel safe taking intelligent risks and admitting mistakes while remaining intensely motivated to achieve demanding goals. In her work (see her book and TED talk below), she emphasizes the importance of psychological safety and performance standards. Move into the learning zone with a growth mindset and actions that help to move us out of the DANGER zones. Team members can encourage each other and provide support in learning and development. Explore Learning TED talks and the Work Engagement pathway and get to the learning zone with TEAMS.

• Trust in abilities
• Expect effort
• Accept challenges
• Mistakes = learning
• Support squad

Beware the DANGER zones that prevent learning:

The comfort zone is a place of safety and security, however no learning happens there. The comfort zone is often a default position, because to change means expending effort and facing obstacles like fear with courage. But the satisfaction of achieving goals is important to our well-being and growth. Follow pathways to Aspire and overcome obstacles. Take a small STEP out of the comfort zone into the learning zone:

• Set correct goals (slightly challenging, but not overwhelming)
• Take action with agency and small steps
• Engage strengths
• Practice helpful microhabits

The anxiety zone is the place where there are demands beyond our skill level. To HEAD out of the anxiety zone into the learning zone, develop skills, increase awareness and emotional intelligence, and learn to handle anxiety and stress with coping skills. Find Emotional Intelligence TED talks, and follow the Clarity pathway. Use your HEAD to fly out of this zone into learning.

• Handle stress
• Emotional regulation
• Add awareness
• Develop skills

The apathy zone is the place where we are uninterested and uninvolved. We stop trying and check out. We can get there from either the comfort zone (understimulation) or the anxiety zone (overstimulation). Inspire the motivation FELT when exploring with curiosity and purpose. Follow the Create and Purpose pathways to move out of the apathy zone into learning:

• Find purpose and flow
• Expand creativity
• Lead with positive self-talk
• Try an experiment

Four Stages of Competence

The Four Stages of Competence describes the stages we go through when learning a new skill: I. Unconscious competence (ignorance), II. conscious incompetence (awareness), III. conscious competence (learning) and IV. unconscious competence (mastery). This model came from management coach Martin M. Broadwell in the 1960s. The Journey is about discovering that change is needed, preparing and gaining awareness, and proceeding through learning, to mastery.

Books and TED talks:

Amazon affiliate links to books provide a small commission to help support the Daily PlanIt.

• The Fearless Organization by Amy Edmondson, TED talk How to turn a group of strangers into a team
• Sona Sherrat TED talk What your body knows before you do
• The Performance Paradox by Eduardo Briceño, TED talk How to get better at things you care about
• Trevor Ragan TED talks Learning like a jungle tiger and How to “overcome” fear
• The Personal MBA by Josh Kaufman, TED talk The first 20 hours
• Tiffani Sadek TED talk Getting comfortable with being uncomfortable

Find more at Learning TED talks at Pinterest and at TED talk book discussion.

When life seems to be a chaos of confusion we want to move to a place of understanding and harmony. A state of coherence, the feeling that life makes sense, is one of the elements of meaning. What is life, if not seeking coherence in a journey of self-discovery, transformation, and growth? Alan Watkins compares this journey to the Hero’s Journey of storytelling identified by Joseph Campbell. It is a process of awakening to the challenge of change, choosing change over comfort, and taking the steps necessary to evolve. The four phases of this process are: Discover (Wake Up) – Decide (Own Up) – Develop (Grow Up) – Deliver (Show Up)

Step Change: the leader’s journey, and Coherence by Alan Watkins, TED talk The journey from mental health to enlightenment. App: Complete (energy & breathing) Amazon affiliate links provide a small commission that helps to support the Daily PlanIt at no additional charge.

The Wheel of Development at Complete Coherence:

• Discover: Wake Up – Realize the cost of staying the same, recognize the truth that a change is needed, face the reality of the discomfort that will be encountered. (1. comfort, 2. challenge, 3. resistance) [Comfort Zone, Creating Clarity]
• Decide: Own up – Accept the challenge, and make a decision to transform. Begin to overcome resistance and sabotaging beliefs and behaviors, build systems and support for the change (4. subsides, 5. commitment, 6. preparation) [Change Mindset, Examine Beliefs, Adjust Self-talk, Set up Systems]
• Develop: Grow up – Intentionally navigate trials and tribulations by developing new psychological or professional skills, master and demonstrate the change. (7. work, 8. deep work, 9, embody the change) [Overcoming Obstacles, Thinking BIG, thinking small]
• Deliver: Show up – Move from internal change to external contribution, delivering results at a higher, more sophisticated level, and inspiring others to change. (10. return, 11. deliver, 12. inspire) Links to all articles at inspire. [www.mybestself101.org/contribution]

Youtube playlist of more TEDx talks by Alan Watkins including:

• How to solve the world’s toughest problems
• Be brilliant every day
• Why you feel what you feel

More Resources:

• Philip Brady TED talk Changing the world one heartbeat at a time
• Raphael Raes TED talk The art of mastering chaos
• The Inside Track by Peter Sage, TED talks
• See also the Personal Development Toolkit and Discover U

The Hero’s Journey

• TED talk What is the hero’s journey? by Pat Soloman
• TED ED What makes a hero? by Matthew Winkler
• TED talk What makes a superhero? by Stan Lee
• TED talk The exegesis of Philip K. Dick – hacking the hero’s journey by Richard Doyle
• Netflix Myths and Monsters video
• AFI’s 100 years…100 heroes and villains at IMDB

Find more TED talks and books by the speakers at TED Talk Book Discussion.

Often the biggest challenges we face are the obstacles that we create ourselves to avoid discomfort. This is a striking truth I uncovered while perusing TED talks to discover a unified theory of meaning. Setting goals in the pursuit of purpose involves facing challenges, and skills are how you thrive. Life presents challenges regardless of whether we seek them or not, and skills are needed simply to survive. To deal with DISCOMFORT and GET PREPARED for the challenges, learn and develop skills with the following books and TED talks. Amazon affiliate links provide a small commission that helps support the Daily PlanIt at no additional cost.

In the Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade movie, Indy must navigate several trials to get to the Holy Grail. The final trial is to cross an apparantly impassable ravine. It requires taking a leap of faith and discovering there is actually an invisible bridge across that is hidden by perspective. Is it possible that your biggest obstacle is YOU? Can you learn to deal with discomfort?

Discomfort is a feeling of uneasiness that can be interpreted as a red flag to trigger avoidance, but discomfort can often be a signal that you are experiencing something new, challenging, or unfamiliar rather than facing actual, imminent physical harm. Our brains are wired for survival and often equate “unfamiliar” with “unsafe.” This results in elevated heart rates, tightness in the chest, or sweaty palms, which the brain’s prediction system quickly sees as threat. However, these are frequently just normal bodily reactions to stress, anxiety, or change, and not a sign of real physical peril. Discomfort can be a sign of development and progress when we step outside of our comfort zone to learn, grow, and change.

Overcome the Obstacles – Deal with DISCOMFORT The Discomfort Zone by Farrah Storr, TED talk The discomfort zone and Amanda Lang The Beauty of Discomfort, TED talk The beauty of discomfort

• Distractions Irresistable by Adam Alter, TED talk Why our screens make us less happy [Distractions and defaults]

• Indecision Making Comparisons Count by Ruth Chang, TED talk How to make hard choices

• Stress The Upside of Stress by Kelly McGonigal, TED talk How to make stress your friend (Hans Selye)

• Change The Other Side of Change by Maya Shankar, TED talk Why change is so scary – and how to unlock its potential [Navigating change]

• Overwhelm The Organized Mind by Daniel Levitin, TED talk How to stay calm when you know you’ll be stressed

• Mistakes The Setback Cycle by Amy Shoenthal, TED talk How to turn setbacks into success [Resources for goals]

• Fear How to Find Flow by Cameron Norsworthy, TED talk Fear or flow: how to create an optimal experience [Conquer Fear]

• Obliviousness Insight by Tasha Eurich, TED talk Increase your self-awareness with one simple fix [Creating Clarity]

• Resistance The Five Second Rule by Mel Robbins, TED talk How to stop screwing yourself over

• Triggers What’s Our Problem by Tim Urban, TED talk Inside the mind of a master procrastinator [Procrastination triggers]

• Self sabotage 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do by Amy Morin, TED talk The secret to becoming mentally strong [Habits]

The biggest self-created obstacle may be our inner deceptions – limiting beliefs that hold us back. Learn more at the Power of Belief.

GET PREPARED

We can learn how to deal with discomfort and stop creating obstacles for ourselves. Develop strengths and skills to prepare for challenges with the books below and TED talks at Pinterest pathways for overcoming obstacles, behavior change, and development.

• Growth mindset Mindset by Carol Dweck, TED talk The power of believing that you can improve [Change your mindset]

• Expand awareness Mindfulness and Acceptance Workbook by John Forsyth, TED talk Why it’s hard being human

• Take control Just the Good Stuff by Jim Vandehei, TED talk 5 practical ways to take control of your life

• Persist with grit Grit by Angela Duckworth, TED talk The power of passion and perseverance [The wimpy person’s guide to grit]

• Resilience Resilient Grieving by Lucy Hone, TED talk Three secrets of resilient people [6 Rs of Resilience]

• Experimental mindset Tiny Experiments by Anne-Laure Lecunf, TED talk How tiny experiments can set you free

• Practice to build belief Master Your Code by Darren Gold, TED talk The secret to an extraordinary life  [Power of Belief, What the Brain Wants]

• Agency The Power of Agency by Judith Katz, TED talk The courage to create the life for you [Develop agency]

• Realistic optimism The Optimism Bias by Tali Sharot, TED talk The optimism bias

• Emotional intelligence Dealing With Feeling by Marc Brackett, TED talk Emotional literacy [Emotional intelligence, Power of a pause, Manage Emotions, Emotional intelligence TED talks]

• Develop competence You Got This by Ivan Joseph, TED talk The skill of self-confidence

Find more pathways and TED talks by speakers who are also authors at TED Talk Book Discussion. Find more Great Reads Pathways at Pinterest.

The skill of emotional intelligence is so important for connecting with others and making a meaningful life. Learn about developing emotional intelligence with the following books and TED talks.

Links to the TED talks can be found at the Emotional Intelligence TED talks board at Pinterest. Some of the presenters are also authors, and books purchased with the Amazon affiliate links below provide a small commission at no extra cost that helps to support the Daily PlanIt.

NOTICE (start with awareness: learn more at Creating Clarity and Wheel of Awareness)

I. AWARENESS – EMOTIONAL SELF-AWARENESS
↳ THE BRAIN: the fight or flight response (learn more at Brain Basics)
TEDED How to make your stress work for you, David Donaldson TED talk Resilience: the up side of down, Trevor Ragan TED talk How to “overcome” fear
➸ ANGER Why We Get Mad by Ryan Martin, TED talk Why we get mad, and why it’s healthy
➸ FEAR TEDED Mikeal Cho the science of stage fright, Jen Gunter anxiety: normal or disorder?
↳ THE BODY: physical cues to emotions (learn more at Identify Emotions)
• How Emotions are Made by Lisa Feldman Barrett, TED talk You aren’t at the mercy of your emotions
➸ EMOTIONS & THOUGHTS (REBT, Self-talk) Jennifer Willis TED talk What’s Your Frame?
↳ PAUSE: allow chemicals that flood the body after a fight or flight response to subside for better access to the thinking brain (learn more at The Power of a Pause)
• Emotion Rules by Joshua Freedman, TED talk Emotional what? www.6seconds.org, free apps at app store
• Alistair Horscroft TED talk 7 seconds to change your life

II. MANAGE: self regulation of emotions (learn more at Manage Emotions)
↳ SHORT TERM (breathe slowly, splash cold water) Wendy Suzuki How to calm your anxiety
• Bridge the Gap by Jennifer Edwards and Katie McCleary, TED talk Elevate your E.Q.
• Stress Resets by Jennifer Taitz, TED talk Stress resets, the ultimate mental health hack
↳ LONG TERM (self-care: meditate, move, manage stress. Learn more at the Coping Skills Toolkit)
• Emotional Intelligence 2.0 by Travis Bradberry, TED talk The power of emotional intelligence
• Living an Exceptional Life by C.J. Calvert, TED talk How to manage your emotions in difficult times
↳ RESILIENCE (learn more at the Six Rs of Resilience and the DEVELOPMENT Pathway at Pinterest)
• Deal With It by Lehan Stemmet, TED talk Change your brain and resilience

III. EMOTIONS OF OTHERS (learn more at Emotional Intelligence)
↳ SOCIAL CUES Dong Seon-Chang TED What do others think of you? How the brain perceives other people, Rebecca Saxe TED How we read each other’s minds
↳ EXPRESSIONS Universal expressions of emotions (learn more at Understanding Body Language)
↳ EMPATHIZE The Empathy Effect by Helen Reiss and Liz Neporent, TED talk The power of empathy

IV. SOCIAL SKILLS ➸ Communicate (learn more at Pathway to Communication)
↳ CONNECT A Little More Social by Nicholas Epley, TED talk The simple habit for a happier social life
↳ ATTENTION Alone Together by Sherry Turkle, TED talk Connected, but alone
↳ BUILD RELATIONSHIPS Social by Matthew Lieberman, TED talk The social brain and its superpowers

More TED talks and books about emotional intelligence:

• Dealing With Feeling by Marc Brackett, TED talk Emotional literacy, free app How We Feel
• Emotional Agility by Susan David, TED talk The gift and power of emotional courage
• Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman, TED talk Why aren’t we more compassionate?
• 90 Seconds to a Life You Love by Joan Rosenberg, TED talk Emotional mastery
• Emotional First Aid by Guy Winch, TED talk Why we all need to practice emotional first aid
  Learn more about What We Control and Develop Agency. Find more pathways and TED talks by speakers who are also authors at TED Talk Book Discussion. Find more Great Reads Pathways at Pinterest.

Arthur Brooks has studied and shared information about happiness for quite awhile. He describes what he calls the Happiness equation: happiness = meaning + enjoyment + satisfaction. His book “The Happiness Files,” is a curated collection from his “How to Build a Life” column in The Atlantic, TED talk on The art and science of happiness. [Amazon affiliate links provide a small commission that helps to support the Daily PlanIt]

• Meaning (Coherence + Purpose + Significance): This involves understanding why things happen, having a sense of direction, and believing your life has significance.

• Enjoyment (Pleasure + People + Memory): Enjoyment comes from engaging in activities that are actively chosen and savored. It increases when shared with others.

• Satisfaction (The Joy of Struggle): This is the fulfillment derived from working hard to achieve a goal. Satisfaction comes from effort and the joy of accomplishment after struggle.

Meaning is the main focus of his new book, “The Meaning of Your Life.” He outlines three elements from the work of Michael Steger, author of Purpose and Meaning in the Workplace, TED talk: What makes life meaningful.

↳ Coherence means feeling that your life makes sense. Learn more about gaining coherence at MAPS to a meaningful life.

↳ Purpose involves having goals and a guiding direction.

↳ Significance is about the value of your life to yourself and others, not just accomplishments, but the positive impact you have. [Youtube short]

Enjoyment is about shared and savored experiences. [Youtube short] To increase enjoyment, the next element of the happiness equation:

↳ Savor: appreciation with awareness. [How to enjoy your life Office Hours]

↳ Active: fully engage in experiences to feel flow. [How to be good at leisure Office Hours]

↳ Social: increase enjoyment by interacting with others.

A key distinction to understand is the difference between enjoyment and pleasure. [Arthur Brooks on the difference between enjoyment and pleasure] True enjoyment is SPECIAL:

• Social (birthday party, game night)
• Produces serotonin (feel-good chemical that stabilizes and produces contentment)
• Ethereal (felt in spirit)
• Conscious (mindfully chosen with thought)
• Isn’t addictive or achievable through substances
• Active (creative challenges, movement)
• Long term results (learning, mastering a skill)

Dopamine is a chemical reward that drives goal accomplishment. Pleasure is felt in the body, can be addictive, and is achievable through substances like drugs, nicotine, and alcohol. Pleasure can be achieved in isolation with short term results. Pleasure is often unconsciously and passively sought. Dopamine can be derived from healthy behaviors like exploring hobbies, and task accomplishment. But unhealthy sources come with negative effects. [See the video from Robert Lustig. He also has a book “Fat Chance,” and TED talk: Sugar: the elephant in the kitchen ]

Satisfaction comes from accomplishing meaningful goals. You can’t keep satisfaction, but you can GET some with:

↳ Goals: move toward intrinsic goals [How to set the right goals Office Hours]

↳ Effort: seeking goals involves struggle [Do hard things Office Hours]

↳ Task Accomplishment: arrange rewards for small steps – beware the lie of dopamine that it lasts forever, the joy is in the journey. Satisfaction = Haves ÷ Wants: manage your wants.

It was an earth-shaking moment for me when I first heard him describe the importance of satisfaction. We do not find satisfaction by seeking comfort and avoiding effort. Watch Martina Lofqvist’s TED talk Why hard challenges are good for you, and read more at Develop Agency. [satisfaction short]

In today’s world, it is easy to distract ourselves from boredom with addictive technology, which also distracts us from what adds meaning and happiness to life. Being aware of the doom loop and gaining insight into how to deal with it will help us in the pursuit of meaning.

Resources: Video on the formula for happiness from the Well (7:04) Arthur Brook’s online meaning in life quiz, Michael Stegner’s online tools. Matt Killingsworth TED talk Want to be happier? Stay in the moment

Learn more about Happiness. Find more TED talks by speakers who are also authors at TED talk book discussion.

How can we make a meaningful life? The answer to this question is outlined in a TED talk by Joshua Hicks: A scientific approach to a meaningful life. He describes four pillars of meaning: mattering, experiential appreciation, purpose, and seeking coherence.

Mattering is about feeling significant to others and leaving a positive lasting mark. Mattering to others often means having good relationships with friends and family members, while sociocultural significance may come from the work that we do. We can build relationships and cultivate friendships, and help others through work or volunteering. Make time to CARE.

• Communicate well
• Authentic awareness
• Relate with listening
• Emotional intelligence

• Take time for others
• Include, invite, introduce
• Make connections
• Entertain and have fun

Key skills for mattering are communication, emotional intelligence, and other social skills. Learn helpful skills with TED talks at the Relate and Communicate Pathways, plus the book (Amazon affiliate links provide a small commission that helps to support the Daily PlanIt) and TED talk below:

• Mattering by Jennifer Breheny Wallace, TED talk Why we need to know our lives matter.

Appreciation of experience is about noticing the world around us. We may enjoy a conversation or the taste of food, be moved by hearing music, or seeing the beauty of a rainbow or lightning. We may feel joy or awe in natural settings. We can increase our ability to be aware with meditation, by reducing distractions, expressing gratitude, and by exploring with curiosity. Savoring resources from mybestself101.org. Be made SANE:

• Be observant and open
• Embrace mindfulness
• Make music and create art
• Add awareness of self and world
• Delete distractions and devote time
• Enhance workspaces and home
• Seek and see beauty
• Appreciate with awe and wonder
• Notice nature
• Express gratitude

Learn more with TED talks at the Create Pathway, plus the books and TED talks below:

• Joy: Joyful by Ingrid Fetell Lee, TED talk Where joy hides and where to find it
• Awe: Phosphorescence by Julia Baird, TED talk The power of feeling small: how awe and wonder sustain us
• Humor: Humor Me by Chris Duffy, TED talk How to find laughter anywhere

Purpose is the pursuit of goals that are both personally meaningful and make a positive mark on the world. Identify strengths, reflect on priorities, and plan purpose with vision, mission, and values for meaningful goals. Break large ambitions into smaller, actionable steps. Overcome procrastination and other obstacles. Maintain motivation and focus on what energizes you. Regularly review progress and re-align daily actions with your “why.” SMART MOVES for purpose:

• Start with strengths
• Master attention
• Act with agency
• Reach for vision and mission
• Target priorities
• Manage distractions
• Overcome procrastination
• View progress with reviews
• Engage energy and flow
• Stay on track for results

Key skills for purpose are self-reflection, knowledge of the career search process, goal setting, planning, and time management. Look for Clues to Purpose and Ikigai. Learn helpful skills for purpose with TED talks at the Purpose, Work Engagement, and Aspire Pathways. Start with the following book and TED talk:

• Get It Done by Ayelet Fishbach, TED talk How to set the right goals and stay motivated.

Seek Coherence – the feeling that your life makes sense. Regular routines provide the rhythms that help us feel that life is meaningful. Experiencing a traumatic event, shattered expectations, and overthinking can leave us feeling that life is beyond our comprehension. Seek clarity when life feels UNCERTAIN:

• Uplift with compassion and self-care
• Navigate change and uncertainty
• Choose to cultivate courage
• Expand thinking and examine beliefs
• Regulate emotions
• Take small steps with a structured routine
• Act with agency to control or influence what you can
• Integrate influence
• Notice with experiential appreciation

Key skills for coherence are emotional intelligence, resilience, positive self-talk, psychological distance, courage, and realistic optimism. Learn helpful skills with TED Talks at the Clarity Pathway (which includes emotional intelligence) and the Psychology Pathway. Plus the following book and TED Talk:

• Coherence by Alan Watkins, TED talk The Journey from mental health to enlightenment. Wake up, Grow up, Own up, and Show up. Learn more at The Journey.

Learn more

• In his book “The Meaning of Your Life,“Arthur Brooks describes three pillars of a meaningful life identified by Michael Steger: coherence, purpose, and significance. Read more at Elements of Happiness.

• In her book “The Power of Meaning,” and TED talk, There’s more to life than being happy, Emily Esfahani Smith describes meaning as coming from belonging, purpose, transcendence, and storytelling.

• Meaning in Life article from Mahon McCann

Learn more at The Choice to Act. Find more TED talks by speakers who are also authors at TED talk book discussion.