I have never been very athletic or sports oriented, but have loved watching the television shows Ted Lasso and Friday Night Lights. I recently spoke with a friend and struggled to find the right words to describe what makes the shows so special. I have since watched the movie We Are Marshall which is based on the true story of a football team recovering from tragic loss, and is also about healing and transformation. Ultimately, they are all filled with heart and people who grow and become resilient. They are all about overcoming adversity, and developing character and potential. These are all things everyone needs to know regardless of athletic ability or interest. As player Dani Rojas says in Ted Lasso, “Football is life!” I will probably never play football, but I do want to learn how to play the game of life with all of my heart. To do that means bringing presence to passion. It means to be yourself and believe in yourself and what is possible. There are many lessons to learn from coaches, players, and performance psychologists that can help.

Lessons from coaches

Coach Ted Lasso – Ted Lasso is brought to England to coach a soccer team (called football there) as a way to hurt the ex-husband of now owner Rebecca. While he is not expected to succeed, he shows what the power of curiosity, optimism, and relationships can do. The show started from a commercial where Jason Sudekis demonstrates his ignorance about the sport in humorous ways, and has grown into the popular television series. As Ted says, “Doing the right thing is never the wrong thing.”

Coach Eric Taylor – Friday Night Lights was a book by H. G. Bissinger (1990) and a movie (2004) before it became a television series (2006-20011). Coach Eric Taylor (played by Kyle Chandler) is always there for the high school students on his team, as well as for his family and community. It is about teaching and learning lessons about responsibility, resilience, and growth. In one of his inspiring speeches, he says: “Success is not a goal, it’s a byproduct.”

Coach Jack Lengyel – In this real life story, Coach Jack Lengyel (played by Matthew McConaughey) guides a town through the process of honoring loss, finding hope, and recovery. A tragic 1970 plane crash that killed 75 players, coaches, staff, and fans of the Marshall University Thundering Herd football team in Huntington, West Virginia. Jack steps in to help start a new team, and encourages the players by saying: “When you take the field today, you’ve got to lay your heart on the line. If we do that, we cannot lose.” The speech at movieclips.

Amazon affiliate links to the books mentioned provide a small commission that helps to support the Daily PlanIt. Find links to all of the TED talks at the Sports TED Talks Pinterest board.

Books and TED talks by coaches

• Wooden on Leadership by John Wooden, TED The difference between winning and succeeding. John Wooden quotes.
• The Art of Winning by Bill Belichick, TED by Mike Lynch The Secret of Bill Belichick’s success. “The price of success is always paid in advance”
• Leading With the Heart by Mike Krzyzewski, TED by Brett Ledbetter Building your inner coach
• The Change Room by Matt Elliot, TED Tormentor vs. Mentor: retraining your inner voice. “Seize the moment…rise to the occasion.”
• The 5am Club by Michael Lombardi, TED Leadership is destroying culture. “The greatest reward for doing is the opportunity to do more.” He quoted Dwight D. Eisenhower:
  “In preparing for battle I have always found that plans are useless, but planning is indispensable.”
  “The measure of who we are is what we do with what we have.” – Vince Lombardi
• Let Them Lead by John U. Bacon (hockey), TED Worst to first
• Winning Every Day by Lou Holtz, Goalcast video 3 rules to a less complicated life

Book and TED talks by players

• The Mamba Mentality by Kobe Bryant (NBA LA Lakers), TED Power of mind
• Russell Williams (NFL quarterback for Seattle) TED My secret to staying focused under pressure, wrote the Forward to It Takes What It Takes by Trevor Moawad, Limitless Mind Youtube playlist
• I Feel Like Going On by Ray Lewis (NFL Baltimore) TED Unexpected
• Desmond Howard (NFL Michigan), TED Be coachable in life
• Shane Battier (NBA Miami), TED An NBA star’s advice on being a top teammate

Books and TED talks by performance psychologists

• The Fearless Mind by Craig Manning, TED Overcoming our egos (confident humility)
• Inside Out by Charlie Unwin, TED The Secret imagination of elite performers
• Mentally Tough by James Loehr and Peter McLaughlin, TED by James The Power of Story, Videos at his website
• The Will of Heroes by Colin Robertson, TED The Eternal suffering of the endurance mind
• Stay Sane in an Insane World by Greg Harden, TED Be different, on purpose
• Kenn Dickinson TED Secrets of elite athletes. He quotes Secretariat owner Penny Chenery: “We will win if we can and live with it if we can’t, but you never know how far you can go unless you run.”
• Ned Phillips TED How endurance performance use the power of the now
• Marc Cormier TED How to develop a mindset for peak performance
• Stephen Seiler TED How “normal people” can train like the worlds best endurance athlete
• Sean Richardson TED Mental toughness: think differently about your world
• Brett Ledbetter TED Building your inner coach

Lessons learned on how to develop potential and PERFORMANCE:
• Persist and practice, be fully present
• Engage with efficacy: believe you are capable
• Recognize others, build relationships with respect
• Focus on the process/task (not outcomes)
• Own up to mistakes, be open to learning
• Reset after setbacks and regulate self
• Master mind, emotions, actions, thoughts
• Accurately assess abilities
• Never stop learning, notice progress
• Consistently choose the difficult
• Embrace effort and discomfort

Learn more about overcoming obstacles, belief, agency, courage, mindset, focus, emotional intelligence, self-assessment, and resilience. Find more books and TED talks by authors at TED talk book discussion.

The comfort zone is very familiar to most of us. It is the safe place where we can be undisturbed by challenges. The drawback of course, is that no learning and growth takes place there, and we do not experience the satisfaction that comes from achieving a goal with our efforts. The illustration below outlines the progression from comfort through fear to the desirable zones of learning and growth. What often stops us from stretching beyond comfort is the dislike of discomfort that is behind many of the obstacles that we create for ourselves, including fear. [Explore books and TED talks for overcoming obstacles to learn how to get comfortable with discomfort]

COMFORT ZONE: Safe and in control, but nothing new happens
FEAR ZONE: Self-doubt, excuses, diverted by procrastination, swayed by other’s opinions
LEARNING ZONE: Acquire new skills, stretch yourself, face challenges and deal with problems
GROWTH ZONE: Self-directed development, gain confidence, pursue meaningful goals, make an impact, and conquer objectives

Other illustrations add a further zone of Impact or Transformation: Align work with purpose, live your values, stop playing small, lead change in yourself, others, and the world. Learn more about the Wheel of Development at The Journey.

We all have different skills and experiences that affect the level of stretch that will be right for us. Individuals vary in the level of challenge they are able to take on. A social challenge that is easy for an extrovert may be harder for an introvert. Some might enjoy extreme sports, while others are not prepared to take them on. We all have different experiences and skills, and our emotional and physical strength fluctuates. To take on challenge that will stretch but not create more pressure than can be handled, complete an accurate assessment of these factors and the actual risk involved.

Examine the PEAKS to find the right amount of stretch:

• Personality
• Experience and skills
• Assess current state (emotional/physical)
• Know actual risk involved
• Size of the challenge

To take STEPS out of the comfort zone:

• Shift your limiting beliefs, adjust your self-talk
• Target a fear you want to conquer
• Embrace a growth mindset and try experiments
• Proceed with small steps to build confidence gradually
• Start with small challenges and then bigger ones

Face a fear gradually. If you are afraid of public speaking:

1. Record yourself giving a talk and watch it
2. Give a talk to a few close friends and family members
3. Finally, give it to gradually larger groups.

Start with a low risk exchange. Build confidence with small challenges, then increase with larger ones. Here are some examples of social challenges:
• Initiate a conversation
• Negotiate a better deal
• Speak to a stranger
• Participate in a group
• Express an opinion
• Confront a problem
• Take a stand for a cause

Learn more with Dan Ballard’s TED talk Validation to value.

IDEAS FOR CHALLENGES to stretch beyond comfort zones:

Mental challenges
learn a new skill
take a different route
try a reading challenge
do a puzzle
memory game
participate in trivia night

Physical challenges
hold breath a little longer
lift a little more weight
delay eating when hungry
try a new food or recipe
take a cold shower

Social challenges
give a compliment
go to a new place alone
join a group
take dance lessons
do karaoke
Join Toastmasters
give a speech

Purposeful challenges
do an act of kindness
send a thank-you note
no complaints for a week
limit technology, tv, or social media
volunteer

See more ideas at Microhabits, and learn more at The Game of Life, the Behavior Change Pathway, and TED talk book discussion links.

Resources:

• 20 seconds of courage from nerdfitness
• https://forest-healing.co.uk/articles/comfort-zone-stretch-zone-and-panic-zone
• https://www.verywellmind.com/how-to-get-comfortable-being-uncomfortable-5204440
• https://www.mindful.org/embracing-discomfort-the-surprising-path-to-a-meaningful-life/
• https://ready4rise.com/stretch-goals-examples/ 

Anyone who has attempted to change behavior knows how difficult it is. Habits help our brains save energy and run more efficiently. As much as two thirds of our daily actions can be habitual! But automatic responses that develop are not always in our best interest, and habits are powerful so changing them is not easy. Much is covered in Make Good Habits Easy, and Bad Habits Hard, Micro-habits, and Behavioral Economics and Weight Loss. Still more knowledge can be gained with TED talks by speakers who are also authors at the Behavior Change Pathway at Pinterest and listed below.

Behavior Change Models

The Habit Loop is a cycle of automatic behavior. Adjust the loop to change behavior.

• Charles Duhigg describes a 3 part habit loop: CAR Cue – Craving (Routine) – Action – Reward. He talks about this in a video at Big Think.
• Irrational Labs has a 3 B framework:
  • Behavior – identify
  • Barriers – add or reduce friction
  • Benefits – amplify
• James Clear outlines a 4 step habit loop:
  1. Cue: The trigger that initiates a habit.
  2. Craving: The desire to act on the cue.
  3. Response: The action you take.
  4. Reward: The benefit you gain, which reinforces the habit and makes you likely to repeat it.

A great guide from readingraphics.com: How to Make a Habit Stick. Short video What Happens in Your Brain When You Try to Change a Habit

A 6 step change model from VeryWellMind (another article from Psychology Today)

1. Precontemplation: Ignoring or denying the problem.
2. Contemplation: Weighing the pros and cons of making a change.
3. Preparation: Deciding on a plan for change.
4. Action: Taking steps toward the goal.
5. Maintenance: Committing to the change long-term.
6. Relapse: Facing setbacks and deciding whether to continue.

Books and TED talks

Find links to the TED talks below (plus more) at the Behavior Change Pathway at Pinterest. Also see the Overcoming Obstacles Pathway. Amazon affiliate links provide a small commission that helps to support the Daily PlanIt.

Act to hack habits:

• Predictably Irrational by Dan Ariely, TED talk How to change your behavior for the better
• Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg, TED talk The Power of Habit
• Willpower by Roy Baumeister, TED talk What makes us human?
• Tiny Habits by B.J. Fogg, TED talk Forget big change, Start with a Tiny Habit
• How a Little Becomes a Lot by Eric Zimmer, TED talk The battle of changing your behavior
• How to Change by Katy Milkman, TED talk Why we fail and how to stand up afterwards
• The Power of Fifty Bits by Bob Nease, TED talk How to trick yourself into good behavior
• Marco Badwal TED talk The science of habits

Begin to examine beliefs (especially limiting beliefs) [The Power of Belief]:

• Primed by Rachel Wei, TED talk Overcoming limiting beliefs
• Mind Shift by Erwin Raphael McManus, TED talk What makes us uniquely human?
• Look Again by Tali Sharot, TED talk How to motivate yourself to change your behavior
• Redesigning You by Kim Foster, TED talk How to actually change your habits
• The Scout Mindset by Julia Galef, TED talk Why you think you’re right – even if you’re wrong
• Chris Lonsdale, TED talk Breaking the chains of belief
• Alison Ledgerwood, TED talk A simple trick to improve positive thinking

Change mindset, check self-talk, and cease self-sabotage.

Develop competence – practice doing the difficult.

Explore articles: https://positivepsychology.com/behavior-change/ 

Find more books and TED talks at TED talk book discussion.

People need connections with others to thrive. A support squad or care crew can help you be your BEST.

• Build skills: problem-solving skills, critical thinking, and social-emotional awareness.
• Engagement: people get inspired to learn when interacting with others.
• Strong connections: build relationships while discovering new concepts together.
• Teach and learn: communities create an ongoing learning loop where peers ask questions and share knowledge and resources.

Find your people:

• Seek groups to join that have the same mission and interests
• Pick places that you like, particpate regularly
• Authentically be yourself [A Path to Being Authentic]
• Reveal consistent commitment
• Know yourself [Discover U]
• Speak about what matters to you

With a team that GLOWS you can:

• Gain input from others
• Learn in public
• Outline thoughts
• Work collaboratively
• Spark creativity with social connections

Benefits of a support squad – SHARE and CARE:

• Share information and ideas
• Help each other
• Ask for and give advice
• Review progress
• Encourage each other

• Connect and communicate
• Accountability for intentional action
• Relate with others
• Energizing experiences

Deep discussion questions:
• History: what experiences made you who you are?
• Heartbreak: what have you lost or struggled through?
• Hero: who do you admire most?
• Hope: what are you striving for in the coming year?

Look within your circles of support – family, friends, and professional connections – for others with shared interests, who care about learning, and are knowledgeable and helpful. Look for people who inspire and encourage you. Set check-ins to reach out on a regular basis and build relationships. In the game of life, we need allies to help us battle the bad guys and achieve epic wins!

Resources: Learning communities from Northern Illinois University

Books and TED talks

Amazon affiliate links to books provide a small commission to help support the Daily PlanIt.

• Tribes by Seth Godin, TED talks The tribes we lead and How to get your ideas to spread
• Tribal Leadership by David Logan, TED talk Tribal leadership
• Intention Into Action by Stacey Lauren, TED talk The Power of community to help you meet your goals
• You Will Find Your People by Lane Moore, TED talk How to be alone
• TED talk The accountability advantage: achieving your goals by Kare Van Delft

Find more TED talks and books by the speakers at TED Talk Book Discussion.

See also Fly Into the Learning Zone, Teamwork, Leadership, Conversation Starters, Beyond Facebook, Making Connections, Don’t Wait, Relate, Anti-Loneliness Actions

Purpose is one of the elements of a meaningful life, and perhaps one of the trickiest to identify since it is such a personal journey. The following TED talks by authors provide help on discovering purpose. Learn more with books at Clues to Purpose and TED talks by speakers who are also authors at Pinterest Pathways for Purpose, Psychology, and Work Engagement. Amazon affiliate links provide a small commission that helps to support the Daily PlanIt at no additional cost.

The Japanese practice of Ikigai is a well-known method for identifying purpose. A previous post, Ikigai as a Pathway to Purpose, mentions the book How to Ikigai by Tim Tamashiro, and his TED talk with the same title. Start with strengths…that you love… apply them to a cause you believe in…to solve a problem with a solution that provides results.

• What you love
• What you are good at
• What the world needs
• What gets results

WHAT YOU LOVE. “Follow your passion” 8 to Be Great by Richard St. John, TED talk 8 Secrets of Success by Richard St. John. The One-Week Job Project by Sean Aiken, TED What makes you come alive? See also What are you passionate about? DEFINE your passion:

• Decide how to design your life [Design Your Life Like an Architect]
• Explore and reflect for clarity
• Feel what creates flow
• Investigate interests: TED talk by Karen McFarlane Holman, the Remarkable Impact of Hobbies on Career
• Notice what you chase: what you want to learn more about and improve [Clues to Purpose]
• Examine what gives you energy

WHAT YOU ARE GOOD AT. Discover U and take stock of your abilities, Discover U at Pinterest. DETECT Sources of Strengths:

• Define values – Intentional by Chris Bailey, TED talk 12 things that motivate everything you do
• Evaluate skills – The First 20 Hours by Josh Kaufman, TED talk The First 20 hours
• Take stock of talents (Gardner) – The Talent Code by Dan Coyle, TED talk Growing a talent hotbed
• Explore personality (Myers-Briggs and DISC) – Lifetypes by Jean Kummerow, TED talk What’s your type?, TED talk Four personality styles by Jennifer & Linda Nacif
• Consider personal qualities (VIA character strengths) – The Power of Character Strengths by Ryan Niemiec, TED talk A Universal Language that Describes What’s Best in Us
• Target strengths – Making Hope Happen by Shane Lopez, TED talk Focusing on your strengths

WHAT THE WORLD NEEDS. “Do what is valuable” Benjamin Todd makes a case for doing work that is valuable in his book 80,000 Hours and TED talk To find work you love, don’t follow your passion. Learn more at the 80,000 hours website, and find resources for the Career Search Process, and at the Work Engagement Pathway.
• Do what’s valuable
• Explore abilities
• Consider world problems
• Investigate solutions
• Do what is most needed
• Expend effort for impact

WHAT WILL GET RESULTS. Look for work that will use your strengths to help with valuable solutions to problems you are passionate about. Get Creative and Think Big to seek solutions to problems. How to Choose a World Problem at the 80,000 Hours suggests the BEST problems to work on are:

• Big in scale
• Efforts effectively create impact
• Solvable with solutions that use your strengths
• Tend to be less obvious, overlooked, or neglected

Prepare a personal mission statement and a personal business model. A personal mission statement that pinpoints what you do and why helps you to choose priorities and provides intense focus. Tim Clark, author of Business Model You developed a personal business model. His TED talk is Say goodbye to career planning. Learn more about mission, vision, and values at Purpose Planning.

Develop the skills you need to pursue purpose. Learn more with TED talks by speakers who are also authors at the Making Meaning Pathway (coming soon) Learn with more TED talks by speakers who are also authors at TED talk book discussion.

The use of gamification to make learning more engaging fascinates me. Changing or establishing habits is hard, and any tools that might help are very valuable. Two TED talks by authors have explored the idea of gamifying some of the challenges of life.

Nerd Fitness is a website and app created by Steve Kamb to make diet and exercise accessible. He is the author of two books. The recently published How to Try Again is a guide to recovering from setbacks. Level Up Your Life is a fun place to start if you feel stuck at level one in life and need inspiration to expand your comfort zone. He outlines how to make yourself the hero of your own journey, and shares a spreadsheet of quests to pursue to level up your life. While the emphasis is on fitness and travel, the ideas can be applied to other goals to improve your life. His TED talk is Nerd fitness and resetting the game of life. [Amazon affiliate links provide a small commission that helps to support the Daily PlanIt at no additional charge.]

SuperBetter is a game-based self-help method created by game designer Jane McGonigal. She has a TED talk The game that can give you ten extra years of life, and is the author of the book Super Better. There is also an app. Super Better employs the psychology of gameplay in a framework that helps individuals build physical, mental, emotional, and social resilience, achieve personal goals, and overcome challenges.

Game mechanics described at the SuperBetter FAQs page include:

Epic Wins: These are goals that are meaningful and challenging, yet still within reach. Seek an inspiring outcome you want to achieve, and envision what the result will look like. Examples: recovering from an injury, overcoming burnout, or running a 5K.
Allies: Rally a support squad of others to help and encourage you.
Bad Guys: Identify enemies and train for battle. These can be distractions, procrastination, bad habits, negative inner voices, and other obstacles that we often create ourselves. Prepare for battle by practicing dealing with discomfort and honing resilience skills.
Quests: These are small, structured steps taken incrementally to reach your larger long-term goals (the “Epic Wins”). Quests require a bit more effort than power-ups and are designed to build hope and optimism. They may be tiny experiments or small incremental micro-habits that lead to bigger changes.
Power-Ups: Gain strength and energy with quick, easy, and positive actions to boost your mood, energy, or resilience in the moment. These self-care mini-actions are designed to help you regain energy and bounce back from stress or fatigue.
Future Boosts are scheduled events or rewards that give you a point boost when the big day arrives. They are designed to help you find things to look forward to, sustain motivation, and reward you for sticking to your long-term goals and plans.

A SuperBetter plan:

1. Choose an epic win to chase: a meaningful goal that provides a tough but achievable challenge.
2. Identify and battle the Bad Guys. Learn strategies to fight your biggest enemies like psychological flexibility and rational thinking. ↴
3. Recruit your Allies. Enlist friends, family, or colleagues to support your journey and keep you accountable.
4. Collect and activate Power-ups. Perform small, simple activities that boost physical, mental, or emotional well-being each day. ↴
5. Pursue daily Quests: small, manageable steps toward goals or the ultimate “Epic Win.” Every quest offers 3 power-up opportunities: one for imagining the positive result, one upon completion, and a future power-up when you recall completing this quest.
6. Earn Future Boosts. Scheduled events or rewards sustain motivation and give you something to look forward to. Gain rewards by accomplishing quests and increasing your resiliency score. Examples: a concert, a trip, or personal treats.

→ 2. For help in identifying and battling the bad guys that trigger self-sabotage, turn to Stop Self-sabotage by Judy Ho, TED talk How attachment influcences self-image. The author outlines L.I.F.E. factors that are the root causes of self-sabotage:

• Low or Shaky Self-Concept
• Internalized Beliefs
• Fear of Change or the Unknown
• Excessive Need for Control

These factors lead to six common self-sabotage triggers:

• Overgeneralizing/Catastrophizing
• “Shoulds”
• Black-and-White Thinking
• Mind Reading
• Discounting the Positive
• Personalization

To battle bad guys, do the REPS:

• Reframe thoughts with cognitive restructuring, a method used to manage emotions.
• Expand thinking with a shift to rational thoughts (learn more at understanding emotions)
• Proceed with psychological flexibility to difficulties with flexible responses and courage.
• Start challenging limiting beliefs and shifting to positive self-talk.

Laura Rubin is the author of The Big Unlock, and has a TED talk How Re-Framing Our Experiences Can Contribute to Our Well-Being. Steven Hayes is the author of A Liberated Mind,  and has a TED talk Psychological flexibility: How love turns pain into purpose.

→ 4. Examples of Power-ups from the SuperBetter Fandom WIKI;

• Physical Resilience: Actions that boost your body’s energy and health. Hydrate: Drink a full glass of water. Stretch: Spend a minute stretching your arms and legs. Breathe: Take 5 to 10 slow, deep, mindful breaths. Move: Take a quick 5-minute walk around the block.
• Mental Resilience: Actions that calm the mind, spark creativity, or build focus. Future Focus: Name two specific things you are looking forward to in the coming week. Positive Prompt: Write a thoughtful, encouraging comment on a forum, blog, or social media post. Learn: Spend 10 minutes reading about a new topic or subject.
• Emotional Resilience: Actions that spark quick moments of joy, gratitude, or peace. Appreciate Nature: Take a moment to watch a bird, smell a sidewalk flower, or sit in the sunshine for 10 minutes. Audio Boost: Listen to a song that makes you feel powerful or happy. Sensory Engagement: Light a favorite scented candle or use essential oils, focusing completely on the scent.
• Social Resilience: Actions that nurture relationships and help you connect with others. Check-In: Send a quick text or email to a friend saying “You’re awesome” or “Thinking of you.” Express appreciation by thanking someone you are grateful for. Call or visit a trusted friend or family member for a quick pick-me-up.

Create good days = 1 quest completed + 1 bad guy defeated + 3 power-ups

The website Butler’s Back Porch has helpful posts about how to game your way to a good day with SuperBetter:

• Challenge yourself.
• Collect and activate Power-ups.
• Find and battle the Bad Guys.
• Seek out and complete Quests.
• Recruit your Allies.
• Adopt a Secret Identity.
• Go for an Epic Win!
• Scoring

Learn more:

• Life As Sport by Jonathan Fader, TED talk Win the game of life with sport psychology
• Ken Leinbach TED talk The game of life
• Josh Strife Hayes TED talk Why did [thing] succeed, when [other thing] failed?
• Conway’s Game of Life
• The Structure of meaning in life article from Mahon McCann
• Find more books and TED talks at TED talk book discussion

Learning is the way to aquire the skills needed to handle the challenges of life. But apathy, anxiety, and the desire for comfort can prevent us from learning.

The learning zone is where we develop skills, improve, and grow. The learning zone is a great place to be, but other danger zones threaten our ability to get there. There are things that we can do in each of the danger zones to help us get to the learning zone.

Amy Edmondson describes the Learning Zone as the ideal state of team performance, combining high psychological safety with high accountability. In this environment, people feel safe taking intelligent risks and admitting mistakes while remaining intensely motivated to achieve demanding goals. In her work (see her book and TED talk below), she emphasizes the importance of psychological safety and performance standards. Move into the learning zone with a growth mindset and actions that help to move us out of the DANGER zones. Team members can encourage each other and provide support in learning and development. Explore Learning TED talks and the Work Engagement pathway and get to the learning zone with TEAMS.

• Trust in abilities
• Expect effort
• Accept challenges
• Mistakes = learning
• Support squad

Beware the DANGER zones that prevent learning:

The comfort zone is a place of safety and security, however no learning happens there. The comfort zone is often a default position, because to change means expending effort and facing obstacles like fear with courage. But the satisfaction of achieving goals is important to our well-being and growth. Follow pathways to Aspire and overcome obstacles. Take a small STEP out of the comfort zone into the learning zone:

• Set correct goals (slightly challenging, but not overwhelming)
• Take action with agency and small steps
• Engage strengths
• Practice helpful microhabits

The anxiety zone is the place where there are demands beyond our skill level. To HEAD out of the anxiety zone into the learning zone, develop skills, increase awareness and emotional intelligence, and learn to handle anxiety and stress with coping skills. Find Emotional Intelligence TED talks, and follow the Clarity pathway. Use your HEAD to fly out of this zone into learning.

• Handle stress
• Emotional regulation
• Add awareness
• Develop skills

The apathy zone is the place where we are uninterested and uninvolved. We stop trying and check out. We can get there from either the comfort zone (understimulation) or the anxiety zone (overstimulation). Inspire the motivation FELT when exploring with curiosity and purpose. Follow the Create and Purpose pathways to move out of the apathy zone into learning:

• Find purpose and flow
• Expand creativity
• Lead with positive self-talk
• Try an experiment

Four Stages of Competence

The Four Stages of Competence describes the stages we go through when learning a new skill: I. Unconscious competence (ignorance), II. conscious incompetence (awareness), III. conscious competence (learning) and IV. unconscious competence (mastery). This model came from management coach Martin M. Broadwell in the 1960s. The Journey is about discovering that change is needed, preparing and gaining awareness, and proceeding through learning, to mastery.

Books and TED talks:

Amazon affiliate links to books provide a small commission to help support the Daily PlanIt.

• The Fearless Organization by Amy Edmondson, TED talk How to turn a group of strangers into a team
• Sona Sherrat TED talk What your body knows before you do
• The Performance Paradox by Eduardo Briceño, TED talk How to get better at things you care about
• Trevor Ragan TED talks Learning like a jungle tiger and How to “overcome” fear
• The Personal MBA by Josh Kaufman, TED talk The first 20 hours
• Tiffani Sadek TED talk Getting comfortable with being uncomfortable

Find more at Learning TED talks at Pinterest and at TED talk book discussion.

When life seems to be a chaos of confusion we want to move to a place of understanding and harmony. A state of coherence, the feeling that life makes sense, is one of the elements of meaning. What is life, if not seeking coherence in a journey of self-discovery, transformation, and growth? Alan Watkins compares this journey to the Hero’s Journey of storytelling identified by Joseph Campbell. It is a process of awakening to the challenge of change, choosing change over comfort, and taking the steps necessary to evolve. The four phases of this process are: Discover (Wake Up) – Decide (Own Up) – Develop (Grow Up) – Deliver (Show Up)

Step Change: the leader’s journey, and Coherence by Alan Watkins, TED talk The journey from mental health to enlightenment. App: Complete (energy & breathing) Amazon affiliate links provide a small commission that helps to support the Daily PlanIt at no additional charge.

The Wheel of Development at Complete Coherence:

• Discover: Wake Up – Realize the cost of staying the same, recognize the truth that a change is needed, face the reality of the discomfort that will be encountered. (1. comfort, 2. challenge, 3. resistance) [Comfort Zone, Creating Clarity]
• Decide: Own up – Accept the challenge, and make a decision to transform. Begin to overcome resistance and sabotaging beliefs and behaviors, build systems and support for the change (4. subsides, 5. commitment, 6. preparation) [Change Mindset, Examine Beliefs, Adjust Self-talk, Set up Systems]
• Develop: Grow up – Intentionally navigate trials and tribulations by developing new psychological or professional skills, master and demonstrate the change. (7. work, 8. deep work, 9, embody the change) [Overcoming Obstacles, Thinking BIG, thinking small]
• Deliver: Show up – Move from internal change to external contribution, delivering results at a higher, more sophisticated level, and inspiring others to change. (10. return, 11. deliver, 12. inspire) Links to all articles at inspire. [www.mybestself101.org/contribution]

Youtube playlist of more TEDx talks by Alan Watkins including:

• How to solve the world’s toughest problems
• Be brilliant every day
• Why you feel what you feel

More Resources:

• Philip Brady TED talk Changing the world one heartbeat at a time
• Raphael Raes TED talk The art of mastering chaos
• The Inside Track by Peter Sage, TED talks
• See also the Personal Development Toolkit and Discover U

The Hero’s Journey

• TED talk What is the hero’s journey? by Pat Soloman
• TED ED What makes a hero? by Matthew Winkler
• TED talk What makes a superhero? by Stan Lee
• TED talk The exegesis of Philip K. Dick – hacking the hero’s journey by Richard Doyle
• Netflix Myths and Monsters video
• AFI’s 100 years…100 heroes and villains at IMDB

Find more TED talks and books by the speakers at TED Talk Book Discussion.

Often the biggest challenges we face are the obstacles that we create ourselves to avoid discomfort. This is a striking truth I uncovered while perusing TED talks to discover a unified theory of meaning. Setting goals in the pursuit of purpose involves facing challenges, and skills are how you thrive. Life presents challenges regardless of whether we seek them or not, and skills are needed simply to survive. To deal with DISCOMFORT and GET PREPARED for the challenges, learn and develop skills with the following books and TED talks. Amazon affiliate links provide a small commission that helps support the Daily PlanIt at no additional cost.

In the Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade movie, Indy must navigate several trials to get to the Holy Grail. The final trial is to cross an apparantly impassable ravine. It requires taking a leap of faith and discovering there is actually an invisible bridge across that is hidden by perspective. Is it possible that your biggest obstacle is YOU? Can you learn to deal with discomfort?

Discomfort is a feeling of uneasiness that can be interpreted as a red flag to trigger avoidance, but discomfort can often be a signal that you are experiencing something new, challenging, or unfamiliar rather than facing actual, imminent physical harm. Our brains are wired for survival and often equate “unfamiliar” with “unsafe.” This results in elevated heart rates, tightness in the chest, or sweaty palms, which the brain’s prediction system quickly sees as threat. However, these are frequently just normal bodily reactions to stress, anxiety, or change, and not a sign of real physical peril. Discomfort can be a sign of development and progress when we step outside of our comfort zone to learn, grow, and change.

Overcome the Obstacles – Deal with DISCOMFORT The Discomfort Zone by Farrah Storr, TED talk The discomfort zone and Amanda Lang The Beauty of Discomfort, TED talk The beauty of discomfort

• Distractions Irresistable by Adam Alter, TED talk Why our screens make us less happy [Distractions and defaults]

• Indecision Making Comparisons Count by Ruth Chang, TED talk How to make hard choices

• Stress The Upside of Stress by Kelly McGonigal, TED talk How to make stress your friend (Hans Selye)

• Change The Other Side of Change by Maya Shankar, TED talk Why change is so scary – and how to unlock its potential [Navigating change]

• Overwhelm The Organized Mind by Daniel Levitin, TED talk How to stay calm when you know you’ll be stressed

• Mistakes The Setback Cycle by Amy Shoenthal, TED talk How to turn setbacks into success [Resources for goals]

• Fear How to Find Flow by Cameron Norsworthy, TED talk Fear or flow: how to create an optimal experience [Conquer Fear]

• Obliviousness Insight by Tasha Eurich, TED talk Increase your self-awareness with one simple fix [Creating Clarity]

• Resistance The Five Second Rule by Mel Robbins, TED talk How to stop screwing yourself over

• Triggers What’s Our Problem by Tim Urban, TED talk Inside the mind of a master procrastinator [Procrastination triggers]

• Self sabotage 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do by Amy Morin, TED talk The secret to becoming mentally strong [Habits]

The biggest self-created obstacle may be our inner deceptions – limiting beliefs that hold us back. Learn more at the Power of Belief.

GET PREPARED

We can learn how to deal with discomfort and stop creating obstacles for ourselves. Develop strengths and skills to prepare for challenges with the books below and TED talks at Pinterest pathways for overcoming obstacles, behavior change, and development.

• Growth mindset Mindset by Carol Dweck, TED talk The power of believing that you can improve [Change your mindset]

• Expand awareness Mindfulness and Acceptance Workbook by John Forsyth, TED talk Why it’s hard being human

• Take control Just the Good Stuff by Jim Vandehei, TED talk 5 practical ways to take control of your life

• Persist with grit Grit by Angela Duckworth, TED talk The power of passion and perseverance [The wimpy person’s guide to grit]

• Resilience Resilient Grieving by Lucy Hone, TED talk Three secrets of resilient people [6 Rs of Resilience]

• Experimental mindset Tiny Experiments by Anne-Laure Lecunf, TED talk How tiny experiments can set you free

• Practice to build belief Master Your Code by Darren Gold, TED talk The secret to an extraordinary life  [Power of Belief, What the Brain Wants]

• Agency The Power of Agency by Judith Katz, TED talk The courage to create the life for you [Develop agency]

• Realistic optimism The Optimism Bias by Tali Sharot, TED talk The optimism bias

• Emotional intelligence Dealing With Feeling by Marc Brackett, TED talk Emotional literacy [Emotional intelligence, Power of a pause, Manage Emotions, Emotional intelligence TED talks]

• Develop competence You Got This by Ivan Joseph, TED talk The skill of self-confidence

Jessie Adams TED talk Don’t avoid obstacles, overcome them. Find more pathways and TED talks by speakers who are also authors at TED Talk Book Discussion. Find more Great Reads Pathways at Pinterest.