Meaningful Conversations

Have you ever wished for more meaningful conversations that develop deeper relationships? Our connections with others improve our happiness and combat loneliness. Conversation is a special communication skill to practice. The best communicators are present, observant, and provide feedback to verify understanding. They are excellent listeners and understand body language. They connect with appealing messages that are special, helpful, amusing, interesting, entertaining or exciting, and know how to ask good questions. Learn more at the CORE attributes of great communicators.

Skills to master the art conversation

BAKE the best conversations:

• Begin with basic communication skills
• Add appealing ingredients
• Keep noticing and matching the type of conversation
• Expand your skills with small talk, starters, and stories

Begin with basic communication skills

• Create a clear channel with a quiet environment.
• Listen with attention and ask good questions.
• Observe: look with good eye contact and notice body language.
• Connect with empathy: express consideration, appreciation, respect, and encouragment.
• Know the communication process and methods.

Add appealing ingredients to SHARE:
• Special stories
• Helpful information
• Add exciting ideas
• Really interesting news
• Entertaining humor

Keep noticing and matching the type of conversation

Charles Duhigg describes three types of conversations in his book “Supercommunicators.” Recognize and match the three buckets: practical, emotional, and social.

Practical Conversations (what is this really about?)

• repeat: paraphrase what you heard
• explore the problem
• ask if you got it right
• decide on solutions together

Emotional Conversations (how do we feel?)

Ask: do you want to be…
• heard
• helped
• hugged

Social Conversations (who are we?)

• small talk
• starters
• stories

Expand your skills ↴

Small talk

FORE topics for small talk to learn more about new aquaintances:

• Family and friends
• Occupation
• Recreation
• Education and events

Starters: Conversation Starters can lead to meaningful conversations.

Stories: Learn about the Power of Storytelling, and reveal moments of transformation.

SHARE to go deeper:

• Share something about yourself
• Have topics to talk about
• Ask good questions  ↴
• Respond in kind
• Explore with curiosity

• Values and beliefs
• Opinions and thoughts
• Ideas and imaginings
• Creative concepts
• Emotions and experiences

Ask Good Questions

• Open ended
• Positive
• Elicit feedback
• Nudge toward detail

Articles: How to Have More Meaningful Conversations at Time and psyche.co. Sketchnotes on Supercommunicators at qaspire.com. How to have a great conversation at wikihow.

Books and TED talks

Affiliate links to books at Amazon provide a small commission to support the Daily PlanIt.

• Supercommunicators by Charles Duhigg, TED talk The science behind dramatically better conversations
• Talk: the science of conversation and the art of being ourselves by Alison Wood Brooks, Google talk
• We Should Get Together by Kat Vellos
• TED talks: The art of meaningful conversations, How to Skip the Small Talk and Connect with Anyone by Kalina Silverman

See more TED talks by authors at the TED Talk Book Discussion

About dailyplanit

I seek to create order from the chaos of complex information. Join me at the Daily PlanIt to gain insights, inspiration, and information to increase skills for a better life. I unlock the power of teaching reading with phonics in the pursuit of literacy at www.phonicspow.com. In my spare time I explore books and movies, often choosing titles available on both screen and page.