Understand Emotions

Emotional – Activity: Understand Emotions

Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) is a form of cognitive behavior therapy developed by Albert Ellis. With this method we gain an understanding of how our beliefs about events lead to our emotions.

Activating Event ▪→ Beliefs → Consequences +→

• Activating Event
• Beliefs
• Consequences

If our beliefs are based on irrational thoughts, consequences may be negative. But we can insert a mental pause with the SOS method to ask questions and choose more effective rational thoughts for a more positive outcome.

Ask ▪→ Begin to dispute irrational thoughts → Choose effective rational thoughts +→

Ask: Use the SOS technique to insert a mental pause to identify emotions and ask questions:

• What are my feelings?
• Am I seeing this clearly?
• Is this a rational thought? Is it logical and reasonable?
• Is it true? Is it accurate?
• What are the facts? Is there evidence?
• Am I exaggerating or over-reacting?
• Am I mistaken to take this personally?
• Is this an overly pessimistic view?

Begin to dispute irrational thoughts. Some common cognitive distortions:

1. All-or-Nothing Thinking
2. Overgeneralizing
3. Discounting the Positive
4. Jumping to Conclusions
5. Mind Reading
6. Fortune Telling
7. Magnifying (Catastrophising) or Minimizing
8. Emotional Reasoning
9. Should Statements
10. Labeling and Mislabeling
11. Personalizing

Choose to substitute effective rational thoughts:

• feelings are caused by beliefs and thoughts, not by events
• not everyone will love me
• nobody is perfect
• there are reasons for behavior
• the universe wasn’t created for me
• worry is not helpful (but planning can be)
• facing problems is better than avoidance and denial
• learn from the past while moving forward
• change is possible

This week, I will notice how my feelings, beliefs and thoughts are connected. I will print an REBT self help form and use it each day. I will replace irrational beliefs and thoughts with rational ones.

Download the ABCs of REBT worksheet (pdf) Watch a video about the ABCDE Model. (6:35)

Knowing what you are thinking is a part of Creating Clarity. One of the Four Agreements is to Be Impeccable With Your Words. Uplift yourself with honest self-talk using REBT.

learn more about understanding emotions:

• Jennifer Willis TED talk What’s Your Frame?
• Printable REBT self help form (pdf)
• Practical Lesson: ABCDEF worksheet from jayuhdinger
• www.getselfhelp.co.uk

This is one of the weekly activities for a Year of Personal Development and part of the series on emotional intelligence.

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