Tools to regulate emotions and resources to reach for DREAMS. Download a free printable below.
• Deep breathing
• Resilience
• Emotional intelligence
• ABCs of REBT
• Affirmations
• Mindfulness & Meditation
• Mindset
• SOS
How To:
1. Place a hand on ribcage above navel.
2. Inhale through nose, count to four, pause. Feel hand rise.
3. Exhale through lips, count to four, pause. Feel hand sink.
4. Repeat for 10 cycles.
5. Repeat 10 times a day.
Try the Calm breathe bubble, or the mindful breathing meditation at helpguide.org (9:08)
Resilience is the ability to bounce back after difficulties.
• Reflect: be aware of thoughts, emotions, actions
• Reset: change focus
• Review: does this help or harm?
• Re-frame: choose rational thoughts, actions that help, a growth mindset
• Redirect: focus on what can be changed
• Reconnect: with self and others
Emotional intelligence is the ability to understand, identify, and manage our own emotions, and develop awareness of and empathy for the emotions of others. Words express different intensity levels for painful emotions when needs are not satisfied, and pleasurable emotions when needs are satisfied.
• Notice and name feelings. Gottman Institute feelings wheel. See Identify Emotions.
• Awareness of physical signs: notice what your body is telling you. See anger management and quick stress relief from helpguide.org. Use the Emotional Intelligence Toolkit at helpguide.org
• Manage emotions with self care and coping strategies like deep breathing or taking a walk. If a fight or flight reaction is triggered, chemical flooding takes place and hijacks the thinking part of the brain. Watch video: Emotions and the brain (2:00). After arousal, it takes 20 minutes to return to normal.
• Express emotions with I statements.
ABCs of REBT [free worksheet]
Our thoughts and beliefs about events can cause painful emotions and outcomes.
Activating Event ▪→ Beliefs → Consequences +→
Ask: is this a rational thought? ▪→ Begin to dispute irrational thoughts → Choose effective rational thoughts +→
• change is possible
• not everyone will love me
• nobody is perfect
• it’s not all about me
Affirmations
Positive affirmations challenge negative self-talk
• Always positive
• First person: “I am, can, will…”
• Friendly: speak to self as you would to a friend
• In present tense: happening now
• Reality based: believable
• Meaningful: develop belief in self, resilience, and ability to grow
REAP benefits
• Repeat daily
• Express emotion
• Add visualization
• Post where you will see often
Mindfulness
A standing mindfulness meditation
- Imagine you are standing on an ocean beach.
- Hear the sounds of ocean waves.
- See the blue sky and green palm trees.
- Smell the sweet scent of colorful flowers.
- Feel the warmth of the sun, a gentle breeze, and the sand beneath your feet.
- Inhale deeply as you stretch up to the sky, breathing in hope, peace, serenity, and calm.
- Slowly exhale as you reach toward your toes, letting go of all tensions and worries.
Meditation has many benefits. Try Tara Brach’s 10 minute meditation.
• set a timer and sit comfortably.
• close your eyes and focus attention on breath.
• when mind wanders, return attention to breath.
A growth mindset is a belief that skills and abilities can be developed with time and effort.
• Mistakes are learning
• Accept feedback
• Skills can be learned
• Time and effort are required for learning
• Embrace challenges as opportunities for growth
• Realize that uncertainty comes with challenges
• Include inspiration from the success of others
• Never give up: persevere with grit
• Get growing!
Self care – sleep well
- Listen to the Delta Sleep System by Dr. Jeffrey Thompson, piano music by Kevin Kern, or space ambient music.
- Try 4 – 7 – 8 breathing.
SOS is the Power of the Pause 
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- Stop – pause & notice
- Observe – events → thoughts → feelings
- Shift – engage coping skills
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Download a free printable pdf of the EMOTIONAL TOOLKIT CARDS
All of the building blocks of positive shift are helpful.More about coping skills at Happier Human, Positive Psychology, and Very Well Mind
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