Relationships – Activity: Know what you want

Whether you are already in a relationship, or looking for someone special, it’s important to know what you want.

Looking for someone special?

Begin by listing the top qualities you are looking for, then develop those qualities in yourself!

Consider what is important to you in different life areas:

Next get out and meet people:

• Try activities that interest you
• Tell friends and family you are looking
• Attend church
• Take a class
• Online singles sites

A SMART Goal to meet someone: I will go someplace new and start a conversation with a new person who interests me at least once a week

Get to know them: 276 questions to ask before you marry

How to Find Lasting Love from Helpguide.org

Already in a relationship?

• Know your Emotional Needs – Dr Harley’s Marriage Builders
• Know your Love Languages – Dr Gary Chapman | printable loving actions
• Know the Seven Principles For Making Marriage Work – John Gottman
• How well do you know each other? – About.com
• Remember often the qualities you love about your partner, and let them know.
• Choose loving actions – the different kinds of love – love books

Important skills for all relationships:

• Know yourself & your needs
• Develop self-esteem
• Emotional Intelligence
• Communicate well
• Understand what you can change and what you can’t

This is one of the weekly activities for a Year of Personal Development.

Social – Activity: Develop Your Self-Esteem

Photo by Tirachard Kumtanom on Pexels.com

Strong self-esteem is the foundation of good relationships, including your relationship with yourself! The good news is that many of the activities of a Year of Personal Growth help to develop self-esteem!

MIND

• Set and accomplish realistic goals
• List your strengths in a SWOT analysis
• Create a vision board and visualize success (see also How to Build Self-Esteem)
• Keep a success file and remind yourself of your achievements
• Reward yourself for accomplishments
• Focus on personal development

HEART

• Develop supportive relationships
• Set boundaries
• Know what you control
• Know your rights and responsibilities
• Accept responsibility for your thoughts, feelings, and actions
• Be involved in activities in the community
• Be aware of feelings and express them responsibly
• Realize if you are here, you are loved

BODY

• Improve your posture and practice power poses to stand tall
• Practice self-care activities
• Learn how to handle stress with deep breathing and other coping skills
• Plan fun and relaxing activities for yourself

SOUL

• Act as if you are self-confident
• Uplift yourself with kindness and positive self-talk
• Meet your healthy needs
• Forgive yourself when you make a mistake
• Ask for help when you need it

Book: “The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem” by Nathaniel Brandon

Practice THE SIX PILLARS OF SELF-ESTEEM
1. The Practice of Living Consciously
2. The Practice of Self-Acceptance
3. The Practice of Self-Responsibility
4. The Practice of Self-Assertiveness
5. The Practice of Living Purposefully
6. The Practice of Personal Integrity

TOOLS

• Watch Amy Cuddy TED Talk on body language
• Listen to Guided Meditation by Tara Brach
• Listen to audio “Whispers of Love” words by don Miguel Ruiz, author of the Four Agreements
• Listen to audio Unhelpful Thinking

This is one of the weekly activities for a Year of Personal Development.

Social: Acts of Kindness

When we perform acts of kindness, it uplifts both others and ourselves. Uplift is one of the building blocks of positive shift. Light up someone’s life with these ideas for random acts of kindness.

• Be kind and give a compliment.
• Express concern for someone who looks lonely.
• Hold the door for someone.
• Offer directions to someone who looks lost.
• Let someone in front of you in line if there are no others waiting.
• Decorate a car with a balloon.
• Leave some quarters taped to a vending machine or washing machine in a laundromat.
• Arrange a surprise for someone to find. Put some cash in a box of diapers for a parent to find.
• Mow a neighbor’s yard, or rake leaves.
• Pay anonymously for someone’s coffee or meal.

Many of these ideas cost little or nothing, but result in positive feelings for everyone involved that are priceless. Find more ideas for simple gifts at Sharing is Caring and Gifts of Appreciation. Plan for donating to a cause you believe in at 12 Ways to Give.

I will do something nice for a friend every day this week. I will spend my time & attention, or give small gifts like a card, candy, or a flower. I will also perform an act of kindness for a stranger.

Download a Random Acts of Kindness Bookmark (pdf)

Need more ideas?

Go to Random.org and get a number between 1 and 20. Then go to this list and perform the Random Act of Kindness for that number.

• 30 Small Acts of Kindness from prolificliving.com
• 88 ways to make a stranger smile from marcandangel.com
• 109 Random Acts of Kindness from wisebread.com
• There are lots of ideas at Kindspring.org, Passiton, and Random Acts of Kindness.

This is one of the weekly activities for a Year of Personal Development.

Social – Activity: Develop a Support System

People are social beings, and connection with others is an important part of our lives. #4 of Lessons for Living from Psychology Today, is SOCIAL NETWORKS MATTER. While Facebook is a helpful way to maintain connections with lots of people, sometimes we need deeper connections that require more care to develop.

This week, don’t wait – relate. Plan to cultivate relationships. Stay Connected with this free printable of ideas for actions you can take.

Stay Connected

Close Friends & Immediate Family (Spouse, children, mother, father, sisters, brothers)

• Converse: try some Conversation Starters
• Add fun activities and games
• Reserve a date night or kids night out
• Explore Seasonal bucket lists

Friends & Extended Family (cousins, aunts & uncles, nephews)

• Conversation Bingo
• Simple gifts
• Attend reunions or holiday get togethers

Acquaintances (Club members, co-workers, classmates, etc.)

• Join a group
• Volunteer
• Bring a snack
• Candy gifts of appreciation
• Go for coffee

Professional Support System (Teachers, Doctors, other paid service providers and agencies)

• Holiday card
• Thank-you card
• Candy gifts of appreciation

Brighten Their Day!

Communicate:

• Facebook post
• Call
• Send an email, card, or letter
• Celebrate special occasions
• Send thank-you notes
• Go for coffee

A little higher level of attention:

• Perform a Random Act of Kindness
• Help with something they need
• Visit
• Share hobbies and interests
• Start conversations
• Attend a conference and network

For your closest relationships:

• Use a Jar O Love with activities for their Love Language
• Plan to entertain and invite to dinner

Friendships are like flowers in the garden of life, which require care to flourish. We develop and maintain connections with attention and appreciation. The amount of time spent and level of connection will depend on the closeness of the relationship. Relationships, like conversation, consist of a well balanced give and take.

This is one of the weekly activities for a Year of Personal Development.

Social– Activity: Make Connections

Tim Sanders describes an exercise from his book “The Likeablity Factor” in a post on his blog, Sanders Says, called “Develop a Sincere Interest.” It’s a great way to make connections with the people in your life. Here’s a summary of the steps:

1. Write down the names of your most frequent contacts.
2. Write down the interests and hobbies they are passionate about. If you’re not sure, ask them.
3. Write down the interests and hobbies you are passionate about. The exercise in my post on quality leisure may be helpful.
4. Note any instersections of shared passions.
5. Note any contact interests you might enjoy trying yourself.
6. Note intersections of shared interests between your contacts who may not know each other, and introduce them.

see also Tim Sander’s FiveByFive Exercise: Connect at the passion2passion level

This is one of the weekly activities for a Year of Personal Development.

Social: Communicate Well

Communication is Number One of the Skills Employers Want, and also vital to the relationships in our personal life. To learn how to communicate well, explore these links to online courses, videos, and other resources to master the skill of communication.

I will dedicate _____ (time) every day this week to learn about the communication process, and practice the skills.

More Resources:

• Communication process at Don Clark Leadership
• Communication at Mindtools
• How to Improve Communication at Free Management Library
• Workplace Communication at gcflearnfree.org
• Express Emotions with I Statements
• Communication Skills at the Daily PlanIt Wiki
• The Communication Process at the Daily PlanIt Shop.

This is one of the weekly activities for a Year of Personal Development. Learn more about the communication process at Skills Employers Want: #1 Communication.

Learn more at Listening Skills, Conversation Bingo at A Networking Game Card, and Cultivating Relationships.

See also the Daily PlanIt Youtube playlist on Communication | Daily PlanIt Pinterest board on Communication

Organizational – Activity: Set Up Storage

After decluttering, the next step in getting organized is setting up storage for the things you want to keep.

1.Choose the area of your home that bothers you the most to begin:

• Living Room
• Kitchen
• Bedrooms
• Office
• Bathrooms
• Basement
• Garage
• Closets
• Storage areas

2. Group like items together, and set up zones to keep them near where they will be used. Designate prime space for most frequently used items.

3. Find containers that fit the items and the space where they will be stored. Browse stores that specialize in organizing containers for ideas. Consider options such as baskets, bins, hooks and shelves, furniture with built in storage, materials that are easy to care for and maintain. The more attractive and convenient it is, the better it will work. Decide if color will help to organize, and if the storage should conceal items or be easily visible.

4. Purchase and install, clearly labeling.

5. Make an inventory list of items kept in each storage area. See Home Inventory at lovetoknowinsurance.

Ideas for groups of objects that are especially challenging to organize:

• Photos: go digital, display them.
• Memorabilia: group in shadowboxes, make scrapbooks.
• Recipes: Make an index with the name of the recipe, the cookbook it’s from and the page number.
• Shoes: tilt-out shoe organizer or shoe boxes.
• Clothes: group by season, by type (business, casual, evening: pants, shirts, skirts) and by color. Hang hook backwards and turn as the item is worn to easily tell items you are not using.
• Magazines and catalogs: limit to a certain amount and keep in magazine files. Subscribe only to favorites.
• Books: use the library more. Group fiction by author, non-fiction by subjects.
• Music: go digital, eliminate old formats.
• Movies: same as music, borrow or rent rather than buy.
• Toys: plastic bins on shelves.
• Games and Computer software and manuals: use plastic sealable bags in a bin.
• Tools: outline around tools arranged on pegboard.

More Reading:

• Resources at Home Helpers – a favorite is Kathy Waddill’s Nine Strategies from The Organizing Sourcebook
• 52 Weeks of Organizing from Organizing Junkie

This is one of the weekly activities for a Year of Personal Development.

Organizational – Activity: Declutter

Make things as easy as possible for yourself! It’s simple – the more you simplify, the more time you gain.

Clear the DECKS

• Desk – declutter your desk by eliminating unneeded items and organizing what is left.

• Email – unsubscribe to any email that your don’t want.

• Computer desktop – delete or organize icons, folders, and documents.

• Keep communications clear: cellphone, voicemail, and mailbox – delete text messages and voicemail, opt out to stop receiving unsolicited offers and unwanted phone calls.

• Stuff – print a decluttering checklist and tackle one area a week.

Decluttering stuff is one of the  weekly activities for a Year of Personal Development. Begin to simplify your life by decluttering stuff!

• Choose one area at a time to work on
• Start with the area that bothers you the most
• Take it in small chunks

For each item, ask:

• Do I love it?
• Do I use it?
• Use the four box method:

“Throw Away”-things that are worn out or broken
“Give Away/Sell”-things that don’t fit, don’t look right, that you haven’t used in the past year
“Put Away”-things that belong elsewhere
“Storage”-things you want to keep
Printable signs for decluttering with the four box method (pdf)

• Follow-up-take things to the location you decided on

SMART GOAL STATEMENT: I will [do what] reduce clutter [by doing what] going through my clothes [when] every evening [for how long] 30 minutes [measured by] eliminating all clothes I don’t use and love [by when] and taking one bag each Saturday to Goodwill.

The Decluttering Checklist below breaks up this task into weekly activities throughout a year.

Download a Decluttering Checklist to add to a Household Binder Notebook.

You might also like the resources at the Home Helper Toolkit and my Household Binder Notebook board at Pinterest, including the Daily PlanIt Cleaning Checklist.

MORE Links to articles on decluttering

The next step is to set up storage for the remaining items. This is one of the weekly activities for a Year of Personal Development.